So he was impeached, kicked out by a fully unanimous Senate vote on his lying cheating corrupt behind. But, hey, he showed up, you know; to resign with dignity? Silly people, of course not. That’s not what we do these days. We don’t say, Oops, my bad. I made a mistake. I did something wrong. I’ll go now.
And we don’t fight, either. If we think we’re being railroaded, accused of a crime we did not commit, we don’t stand up in front of our accusers and say, Here’s what happened. Here’s my proof. I am not a crook.
Nah, these days when you’ve done something wrong, you go on a publicity junket. You stop in to see Matt and Meredith; you talk to a TV image of Barbara Walters; you talk to Father Time, er, Larry King. Yet, still, you don’t answer questions. Straight questions.
Did you say that Governor?
I haven’t heard the full tape.
But did you say that?
And my favorite answer.
It was taken out of context.
So, Blago is gone, and he’s taken his hair with him. Illinois is thrilled. I’d be thrilled, too, down here in Smallville, if he’s just shut up and go away completely.
But I have a feeling a book is coming, or a documentary, and another round of TV tours.
Ted Haggard and his “wife” were on Oprah this week, and I, for one, was happy she stopped talking about her large behind or how she elected Barack Obama for a day.
Ted and the missus were on to discuss his being a big flaming, lying, crack head, closeted homo…..or, I mean, a heterosexual with issues.
Issues, Ted? Really. Honey, you have whole subscriptions.
As he talked my gaydar was pinging so loudly I could scarcely hear the television. He isn’t gay, he says; he isn’t bi, he says. He has tendencies.
Tendencies to have sex with men.
Which makes you a big lying queer, Ted. Because the last time I checked, truly straight men don’t have tendencies to have sex with other men. Maybe once, in college, on a dare, after a few beers, but over and over again? Sorry, Teddy, that dog won’t hunt. And don’t blame it on your crackheadedness; lots of crackheads out there, lots of ’em men; but they ain’t doing the bend over, grab your ankles and sing an aria for me, baby.
Now, the “wife” comes out. She says she knew of his “tendencies” when she married him; she knew he’d done things in his past. Then she says my favorite line, how we all have inclinations, but we don’t all choose to act on them.
Excuse me. sister, but it isn’t a choice: you chose, dear. You chose. To be a heterosexual woman married to a queer crackhead hate-spewing ex-pastor. And you chose to deny your husband’s “inclinations” because you were living high on the homo-hog with all your minions donating to your church.
Seriously, Teddy and Gayle.
Shut the fuck up already.
Just a few words on this one.
Rush Limbaugh is a big fat drug addled ass.
He hopes Obama fails. He said that. “I hope he fails.”
Can you imagine how much he would rant and rage if anyone said that about W, who did fail?
Rush would be so mad he’d scream, all of his chins wriggling, his drug dealers scampering to refill his prescriptions.
You’re an idiot Limbaugh.
An unpatriotic racist fat-assed drug-addicted idiot.
And last but not least.
Exxon made 7.82 billion dollars in the last quarter of ’08.
SEVEN.POINT.EIGHT-TWO BILLION DOLLARS.
Does that sound right to anyone except Exxon?
Home Depot is closing stores and laying people off.
Starbucks is closing stores and laying people off.
Linens’n’Things is just plain closing all it’s stores.
Circuit City is bankrupt.
BestBuy is cutting jobs.
Even over at Disney/ABC they’re cutting jobs.
But Exxon is raking in billions. In this economy, with the government bailing out banks; with people losing their homes.
Smells fishy to me.