Monthly Archives: June 2009



Carlos and I went to see The Taking of Pelham 123 last Sunday. It was a hot hot day in Smallville and a movie seemed like a fine idea. And it was a good movie, even though it had John Travolta in it–I do not like John Travolta….sorry Travolta fans.

But, it also starred Denzel Washington and I loves me some Denzel. His subtle, real performance more than made up for Travolta’s hammy overacting bad guy.

But, here’s the part I loved.

Toward the end of the movie Denzel is hunting down Travolta and is crossing the subway tracks in front of an oncoming train. Now, you know they aren’t going to let Denzel get hit by a train, it’d be chaos in the theater. But the scene was so well shot that it was thisclose to Denzel getting hit.

That’s when it happened.

Carlos screamed like a girl.

I nearly fell out of my chair.

My boss became a grandfather last week so the talk at work was all about babies.

I know. Yawn.

Every time someone said something about a baby, I’d say, You know what Tuxedo did today…..?


I had to think of a better way to diffuse the conversation and get off baby talk and back to something, anything, that I might find interesting because, you know, it is all about me.

So, one girl was talking about how when she was born the doctor said she was the most beautiful baby he’d ever delivered.

Wait a beat, and then I said,

A veterinarian delivered you?

And all eyes were on me, just like I like it!

I was ranting about Bernie Madoff over breakfast today. I was also ranting about Day Five Of The Michael Jackson Death Reports. I was running both stories together and really on a tear, then I stopped and looked at Carlos and said, in my best King of Siam voice, Et cetera. Et cetera. Et cetera.

Carlos looked up from his coffee and said, You’re not Jewel Briner.

Jewel Briner? Jewel Brinner? Jewel Brynner. Yul Brynner.




Filed under Bob, Carlos, Funny, Smallville


Ken, Kevin Harvie and y78ilm.
Relax and enjoy!

1 Comment

Filed under Newbies

>Won’t Play Gay…..Or Even Gay Friendly


clockwise from upper left corner:
Patricia Maucer, Saundra Santiago,
Brett Claywell, Scott Evans

I have been a fan of One Life To Live since Viki was married to Joe. or was it Clint? Or Sloane? Or Ben? Charlie?

I forget.

But I remember when OLTL did the first gay teenager storyline about a young man coming out of the closet. it was very well handled, and well told. So, I was happy to hear that OLTL was going to have a new gay couple on the show. Officer Fish, played by openly gay actor and brother of Chris Evans, Scott Evans, and his old college buddy Kyle, played by Brett Claywell..

They’re calling them Kish. I hate when they do that.

And I was even more surprised to learn that Patricia Mauceri has been fired from the recurring role of Carlotta Vega on OLTL due to her protests about Carlotta’s small role in the upcoming gay storyline. Apparently, OLTL wanted to go against stereotype and show Carlotta as a gay friendly Latina mother.

Mauceri objected to Carlotta’s positive attitude about homosexuality, saying it conflicted with her personal beliefs. So, Mauceri was fired and the role was recast with Saundra Santiago, who has no trouble separating her religious beliefs and the part she plays on a soap opera. I wonder how Mauceri would have felt if an actor chose to be fired rather than play out a scene with a Latina. It’s called acting, dear; it isn’t real life. You can still be a homophobic hater on your days off. It’s all good.

Here’s how it all went down:

When Officer Fish (Evans) decides to come out to his very religious family, he purchases a book on how to come out to your parents. Somehow this book ends up in Cristian’s possession and Carlotta mistakenly believes Cristian, who is her son, is gay, leading to a comedic scene where she is shocked, but then begins to accept “her” son’s sexuality citing his sensitivity, artistic temperament and concern for his appearance.

The scene was meant to be played as a comedy of mistaken identities, with Cristian continuing to insist he isn’t gay. The laughing stopped when Patricia Mauceri went to the producers and demanded the scenes be re-written, or she wouldn’t play them. Patricia felt Carlotta would never accept her son’s “gayness”.

When the producers informed her the scenes would play out as is, Patricia persisted and the decision was made to recast the role.

Patricia Mauceri has worked extensively with gays in theater and on film over the years, but her personal religious beliefs have changed.

Again, dear, it’s a job. Not a lifestyle.


Filed under Uncategorized

>Tuesday Tuxedo

I loves me some Tuxedo.

We rescued him from a life as a blood donor in an animal hospital in Miami. They said he was mean; unadoptable….is that a word? Nothing but trouble. And he was, for the first few days.

Now, four years later he’s a loving cat who follows you around the house, sits in the kitchen when you cook, and plays catch the reflection in the bathroom before we go to bed.

He’s my boy. I call him ‘My boy’ just to irk Carlos, and it does.

But anyway, enough of the love story between me and el gato. What I wanted to point out was how he sits at the top of the chair in our home office; his hind claws dug in for support and his front legs dangling down either side.

Cute. Right?

Not so much. He sits like that because he was declawed by a veterinarian who thought it might make him a better candidate for adoption. You know, less mean and aggressive. So they cut off his fingers; cat’s claws are not like our finger nails, they are like our fingers. Cats use them to scratch and groom themselves, to pick up things, to play with things, and for protection. Cutting off his fingers wasn’t a good idea. It didn’t make him less aggressive, it made him more aggressive because now he has only his back feet and claws to use as a defense.

So, if you have a cat or want a cat, don’t, don’t, don’t, let anyone talk you into cutting off their fingers. If you want to declaw a cat because you have a leather sofa, or pretty velvet drapes, then either get rid of the cat or get rid of the couch and drapes. Or, do like Carlos and I have done, train your cats that they cannot claw the furniture.

Because, even though they don’t show it, they are listening.

Tuxedo. He’s a cutie. My boy.


Filed under Bob, Carlos, Cats, Declawing, Pets, Tuxedo, Uncategorized, Veterinarians

>All Right Already!


I keep having people ask me when I’m gonna write about Michael Jackson on my blog.

You wrote about Ed, they say. Farrah, too.
Don’t forget Bea Arthur, I hear.

So, all right already.
But you may not like it.

I didn’t like Michael Jackson. His music, I mean; I didn’t know the man personally so……..Sorry. King of Pop is a name he gave himself. I may dub myself Grand Poobah of Smallville, but it would not make a difference. When you anoint yourself king or queen or grand poobah of something, are you really the king? I think not. But I digress.

Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5. Loved them. I’ll Be There. Michael Jackson Off The Wall. Loved it. Thriller? Loved it. Never owned it; but liked what I heard on the radio or MTV.

After that, though, not so much.

It all became too weird, with the crazy outfits, the changing skin tones, the plastic surgery that was obvious but never admitted. Surgical masks. Pajamas in the courtroom. It was more side show than show business. And I won’t even get into the child molestation thing. it’s all hearsay and innuendo and, unless you were a child who had been molested by Michael Jackson, or Michael Jackson himself, then, well, shut up about it. Because you just don’t know.

I’ll give you that he was talented; he was very talented. Was he the best ever? That’s a subjective question. If you didn’t enjoy his music and performances then he wasn’t the best. If you did, he was; that’s how it goes. But I do get tired of people saying that without Michael Jackson there’s be no Usher or Timberlake or NeYo. That’s simply negating the talent of anyone who came after Jackson. They have talent; maybe they borrowed a move or a beat or a glove, but that doesn’t make them any less gifted, or that they wouldn’t be here without Michael Jackson.

If that’s the legitimate line of thought then nobody in the music business would be here without the guy, or girl, in the cave a few million years back who began to beat a drumstick on a rock and dance around in a fur outfit.

But no one is thanking him.

Am I sorry Michael Jackson passed away?

Silly question. We are all affected by death whether we knew or liked the person who died. Their death leaves a hole in our collective hearts.

I just don’t think the hole is as big or as deep as it’s being made out.


Filed under Bob, Celebrity, Death, Michael Jackson, Rant

>When In Doubt Make Your Plight Biblical


All kinds of talk about our lying, cheating, taxpayer defrauding governor of late. And even the asshat himself won’t shut up.

Mark Sanford held a televised cabinet meeting this week, and began the meeting by comparing his plight to that of King David, who didn’t back down after his own sex scandal.

Mark Sanford:
“I have been doing a lot of soul searching on that front. What I find interesting is the story of David, and the way in which he fell mightily, he fell in very very significant ways. But then picked up the pieces and built from there.”

So, as the governor of South Carolina who began an adulterous affair with a woman in Argentina, who used taxpayer money to fund at least one booty call, who disappeared from his job for days on end without telling anyone, you think you’re like King David?

Just because someone in the Bible lied and cheated and committed adultery doesn’t make it okay, Mark. Don’t you get that?

Obviously not, because after the meeting, Governor Asshat took it a step further:

“I remain committed to rebuilding the trust that has been committed to me over the next 18 months, and it is my hope that I am able to follow the example set by David in the Bible – who after his fall from grace humbly refocused on the work at hand. By doing so, I will ultimately better serve in every area of my life, and I am committed to doing so.”

By doing so you are trying to scrape together the remnants of your political career and keep yourself so busy that the lovely Jenny doesn’t beat the crap out of you every day.

Don’t worry, Mark. Jenny may not beat you up, but I will.


Filed under Asshat, South Carolina, Uncategorized

>A Gay Man’s Mother Writes To President Obama

>from HuffPo
Randi Reitan, mother, gay rights activist has written to the president–I Ask President Obama for Full Equality for my Gay Son:

Dear President Obama,

I watched you preach on Father’s Day and my heart was touched by your words. I listened with a mother’s heart. I have been blessed with four dear children. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for the gift my children are to me.

You told the congregation that the family is the most important foundation. You said we must take responsibility for those we love and we must set an example of excellence for our children. We must give our children dreams without limits and we must teach them the importance of having empathy for others. We must teach them to stand in another’s shoes to know another’s pain and their challenges so we can lift them up.

You said when you were younger you thought life was all about yourself and now you realize life is about leaving this world a better place for our children.

Your words touched this mother’s heart but they also made me wonder if you are truly living your words.

I wonder if you are living those words as you listen to the gay community. There isn’t a newspaper across this great nation that has not shared the news of the gay community’s fight for equality. You must have heard their pain when your administration affirmed DOMA with their brief. You must have heard their pain as one after another brave and loyal gay soldier has been kicked out of the military because of DADT. You must have heard their pain as Prop 8 snatched marriage away from gay couples.

My youngest child is gay. As parents we were ignorant about homosexuality when Jacob came out to us as a 16 year old young man eleven years ago. We embraced him and we told him we loved him that night, but we were clueless about what it meant to be gay.

We had to educate ourselves. Another part of your message on Sunday addressed the importance of education. I ask you now to educate yourself about homosexuality.When we visited with the medical community on our journey to understanding we learned that homosexuality was simply the sexual orientation our son was given. We learned it was not a choice that Jacob made. We were told it was a given for him and we as his parents should encourage him to embrace his orientation and live his life with dignity and respect.

This began a new chapter in our lives. We learned to live in the empathy you extolled. We met hundreds of young gay people who have had such difficult lives because of the ignorance of our society. We have listened to pastors condemning gays and teaching others to do the same. We have felt the pain of discrimination as our son has been harassed with words and attacks. We have listened to young people with tears in their eyes share that they have been rejected by their own parents. We have watched as our son tried to enlist as a gay man and was instead led away in hand cuffs.

We also took responsibility as you asked parents to do on Sunday. We have spoken out, marched and led rallies. We have been arrested numerous times doing civil disobedience to try to bring the issues of injustice to light. We have poured our financial resources into programs and agencies that work to educate the people. We have lobbied at the Capitol in our state of Minnesota and in Washington, DC. We have written hundreds of letters to law makers, pastors, teachers and now to you our President.

Our country needs your voice on this issue. I am impatient to see my dear son live his life with full equality. Can you imagine if one of your daughters had equality and the other did not? That is the reality for every family with a gay child. It is heartbreaking and it is wrong.

You may not be able to lift DADT today. You may not be able to end DOMA today. You may not be able to bring marriage back for the gay community in California today. But, as our president, you can move legislation that would right those wrongs. You can sit down with my son and others and listen to their stories so you can stand in their shoes with empathy. You can address this nation about the terrible discrimination the gay community faces in our country. You can live out your campaign promises on some level.

Your final lesson in your sermon was on the gift of faith and hope. You spoke of a hope that insists that something better is waiting for us. You spoke of your faith and your love of Jesus. The Jesus that I know would not make outcasts of God’s beloved children. The gay community has been made into outcasts by many in our churches. We need to hear from you that no one is less than another. The greatest commandment that Jesus taught was to love one another as He loves us.You talked about the importance of fathers teaching their children. If you don’t address the issues of equality for the gay community, the discrimination will not end. Your daughters are watching you. They are learning from you and so are all the sons and daughters in this country.

You can be a president who not only embraces equality but who fights to see the day all God’s children actually live it. To be able to bring equality to a group of people should be seen as not only a duty of justice but an honor of the highest level. You must be the one to lead our country by setting an example of excellence in treating all Americans with equality in all areas of life.I sat on the lawn in front of our nation’s Capitol on that cold day in January when you took the oath of office. My heart filled with hope that day because I believed the words you spoke as you campaigned. Those words seem hollow to me now.

I ask you with tears in my eyes, with pain in my heart and with a mother’s enduring love for her dear children….. please bring equality … true full equality to my son and to all in the gay community.


Filed under LGBT Rights, President Obama, Randi Reitan, Uncategorized