>Okay, so we had the PR6 Finale last night, and I almost choked on my Australian Sauvignon Blanc when Heidi, Michael Korange [as always, thanks to DD for that one], Ninna Gah-See-Ya and the English gal with the Something About Mary hair declared this THE BEST FINALE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Um, not so much.
So, here’s my take, had I been a judge, and I should have been. I promise to try and keep it shorter and more interesting than PR6, though I guarantee nothing.
Let’s tear Irina apart first, shall we?
This was, um, okay, but seriously boring, and I thought the T-shirt was too HomeEc for a fashion show. Plus, I’d heard over at Frogponders that there was something about copyright infringement or plagiarism or fugly about the T-shirts.
And this little number looked like an Anne Hathaway throw away costume from that immortal, classic film, Get Smart. It didn’t.
Click it to embiggerate, and get a load of the model’s face. This was exactly how I felt looking at this mess. Imagine how she felt wearing it down a runway and being seen on television in it. That sound you hear, dear, is your career coming to a crashing halt.
This made me cry out, Enough with the helmets! This isn’t Project Runway: National Velvet, for crying out loud. It’s all a little dark, a little tight, a whole lotta unflattering.
And, while most of her clothes were Upper East Side hooker chic, Irina chose to create this, which I dubbed the “It’s-A-Nice-Day-For-A-Black-Wedding-Dress-At-The-Track” look.
Who knew Irina was into Domination? This just needs a whip and it’s good to go. I’d even buy it….oh, who am I kidding. I already have this. In red. And buttless. TMI? Sorry.
From the new Jabba The Hutt line.
And here we have the Sarah Palin I Shoot Wolves From A Helicopter and Then Make A Vest outfit. Coming soon to an Army Navy Store near you.
This looks fun, and if they ever do a remake of the I Love Lucy, where she wore the dress that was so tight she couldn’t sit down, they can use this dress.
Heidi likee. Heidi right.
Really Carol Hannah? Did you think you could win PR6 with a rosette sash? ‘Cuz you can’t, honey. No………no.
If Little Red Riding Hood lived in New York and didn’t like red, this is what she’d be wearing. And the wolves would beat the snot out of her.
This is where the aforementioned architecture riff comes in, because I see pillars and struts, I-beams and pilings, working this dress down the runway. I believe you can spot the construction crew, down there, at the hem.
Poof! That’s all I got, but I like saying it…….Poof! And I like the dress. Poofter!
This is an haute couture potato saque. It’s more expensive than a regular potato sack because you spell it with a ‘q’ and a ‘u’. Those cost more.
If you’re a Dominatrix/Lesbian farmer, have I got the outfit for you! I see you tilling the fields, and then tilling the missus in this little number.
Heidi likee. Heidi needs glasses.
Asymmetric with a pointy breast thing-a-ma-bob does not get you a career in fashion. Althea! It gets you on a Greyhound back to Dayton.
Working on her collection in Dayton, Althea grew so bored she kept knitting and knitting and knitting. I mean, I’ve heard of sleeves that dust the fingertips, but you shouldn’t be able to Swiffer the floor with high ::::cough cough:::: fashion.
Really. Dull. There.Are.No.Words.
This is Althea’s surprise 13th look. It’s a fact. Thirteen is unlucky. And ugly.
From the Courtney Love I-Go-To-Rehab collection. Plus, it looks like the model spilled something down the front. Really. I think Courtney actually wore this before passing out in a gutter where Althea found her, stripped her naked, and took her wallet.