>Odds’n’Ends

> Is it me or is the Today Show turning into The SideShow? I mean, is there any actual news left? This morning, in the 7AM hour, the big story was Elvis’ birthday. Forgive me if I’m insensitive [or just fuck off ] but hasn’t he been dead for like a hundred years? So, why are we celebrating his birthday?
Then, to top it off, Matt “I’m a newsman, dammit” Lauer, promised an interview with Balloon Boy Hoax Daddy, Richard Heene, because now Richard says it wasn’t a hoax–even though his wife says it was a hoax.
Hmmmm, maybe it’s just me, but isn’t this just another attempt by MediaWhoreHeene to get his mug on TV.
And isn’t it nice of the SideShow to accommodate him?
Piss off.
There’s word that Jay Leno is being cancelled.
Then comes word that he’s being shipped to Hiatus, wherever that is, though I’m sure it’s a country where people don’t know funny because then they’d get Jay Leno.
Then comes word that he’s going back to the 11:30PM timeslot.
Um, NBC? Didn’t you give that to Conan? And by shipping Leno back, aren’t you kind of admitting that you made a New Coke Kind Of Mistake?
But NBC says Jay Leno’s “show has performed exactly as anticipated.”
Oh, so you meant to drive away 52% of your audience.
Good thinking.
Y’all know, if you read my lilol blog you do know, that I don’t care to comment on Tiger Woods and his, ahem, personal issues. But Charlie Sheen is another matter, because Charlie Sheen is a dickwad untalented drug-and-alcohol addict who never seems to learn his lesson. The lesson? Don’t drink. Don’t drug. Don’t get married. Again. Don’t have more children. But Charlie, up to his eyeballs in trouble from his Christmas Eve alleged wife-beating incident, is turning into a giant yellow-bellied coward. Seems Charlie won’t be making a personal appearance at the upcoming hearing concerning the restraining order implemented by his wife Brooke Mueller because he allegedly threatened to kill her. Charlie will testify via phone! His attorney filed the motion, and the District Attorney did not opposed. But, and this is where it gets Charlie Sheen Weird, the hearing is to get the restraining order dropped so he and his wife can be in the same room and mend their tattered drug-drunk-fest, er, marriage, and yet Charlie doesn’t want to be in the same room to talk about it? Charlie Sheen is an asshat. And, he’ll probably hate this more, he’s a horrible actor. Can’t act. Not funny.
People are idiots.
Oh, not you of course, those other people.
It seems that folks are already up in arms about President Obama’s upcoming State of The Union address because the two nights available are the nights that American Idol premieres or the night that starts the last season of Lost.
Yes, only in America, where we just bungled a terrorist attack, where Wall St has come back to thumb their noses at us while they line their pockets, where unemployment goes up and home ownership goes down, we are more concerned about missing a TV show.
Now, I loves me some American Idol and I loveslovesloeves me some Lost, but, seriously.
People are stupid.
Noooooooooooooo! Not you!

Apparently Bristol Palin, daughter of The Quitter, Levi’s baby momma, has her own business. Paperwork was filed in Alaska last September by Bristol, as the organizer of an new enterprise, BSMP LLC.
BSMP [Bristol Sharon Marie Palin] will :::::ahem::::: “provide lobbying, public relations, and political consulting services.” The company is currently the ambassador for the Candie’s Foundation, a pro-abstinence organization.
Yes, Bristol, who dropped out of high school so she could give birth to her drop-out boyfriend’s love child is touting abstinence. Um, she couldn’t have done that before she, um, you know, rode the Johnston?
Just like her mama, the Governor Who Couldn’t, Bristol follows the “do as I say, not as I do” brand of thinking.
This one kills me.
Literally.
I.Died.
In the newest issue of Latina Magazine, Jennifer Lopez laments not winning an Oscar El Cantante, a movie nobody saw:
“I feel like I had that [Oscar worthy role] in El Cantante, but I don’t even think the academy members saw it. I feel like it’s their responsibility to do that, to see everything that’s out there, everything that could be great. “Well, it is a little bit frustrating. It was funny; when the Oscars were on, I had just given birth on the 22nd, and the Oscars, I think, were a day or two later. I was sitting there with my twins–I couldn’t have been happier–but I was like, ‘How dope would it have been if I would’ve won the Oscar and been here in my hospital bed accepting the award?’ ‘Thank you so much! I just want to thank the academy!’ But we joked about it. It’s all good. Things will happen when they’re supposed to happen. I have the utmost faith and no doubt that it will one day, when and if it’s supposed to. You can’t get all crazy twisted over it.”
Jennifer Lopez winning an Oscar!
It’s funny, cuz it’ll never happen.

These two I lovelovelove.
Cher, and Christina Aguilera, on the set of their new movie [I know! Two fab divas together!] Burlesque.
The film is about of a burlesque club called The Burlesque Lounge, where Christina’s small- town-girl-with-a-dream-and-a-talent-as-big-as-her-breasts shows off her amazing, um, voice. Yeah. Not the breasts, I don’t think.
Cher plays Tess the owner of the lounge and she is apparently going to guide Christina’s Ali through the perils of small-town-big-city burlesque-itude.
Of course, it doesn’t hurt that the film also stars homolicious Alan Cumming, hottie Eric Dane, sexy Stanley Tucci, and The Body Cam Gigandet.
It’s a big gay movie!
Rachel Zoe, stylist to the stars who have no taste of their own, took to the beaches over the holidays. Apparently, however, she forgot her suit, so she just slipped into some leftover skin she had laying around. Seriously, someone give her a cookie, and then make her go away.
Lindsay Lohan is accused of stealing.
Again.
Nuff said.
I miss Oprah. No, I don’t!
Advertisements

7 Comments

Filed under Balloon Boy, Bristol Palin, Charlie Sheen, Cher, Christina Aguilera, Ignorant People, Jay Leno, JLo, Lindsay Lohan, Matt Lauer, NBC, Oprah Winfrey, President Obama, Rachel Zoe, The Today Show

7 responses to “>Odds’n’Ends

  1. >*those other people* will be the first to go when our alien overlords arrive.

  2. >I cracked up, too, when I read the thing about Bristol Palin. What the…?

  3. Joy

    >I thought Bristol went around saying that kids need other options because obviously abstinence doesn't work. Well! You're right.I still crack up about Oprah crying about leaving her show when the exit is almost two years away. Sheesh!I'll go see Burlesque. Good post! I agree with you. 🙂

  4. >You, of all people, should know that when there's no REAL news, they either make something up or rehash something we're trying to forget.

  5. >Thanks for this bitchy post. I agree with you on ALL of it, especially the morning TV news shows. I can hardly stand to watch them anymore. And most of the 'serious' reports are on subject matter we all know everything about anyway. I mean really, if I have to hear Suze Orman talking about credit card ratings one more time I'm gonna shit a brick!

  6. >This is better news coverage than MSNBC can manage on a good night.

  7. >Fun, as always Bob. Burlesque sounds like it will be great. I can't wait!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s