>I Ain’t One To Gossip, But………………

>I don’t get Charlie Sheen.
I don’t see talented actor or TV comedy star. I see alcoholic, drug addicted, serial groom, with a penchant for spousal battery. I don’t see why a woman, any woman, would want to hook her wagon, as it were, to his star.
Except for the fact that, as the :::cough cough::: star of that :::cough cough::: hit show, Two And A Half Men, Sheen makes $20 million a year.
So, please to explain, what the frig is wrong with people that they want to marry this loser, let him beat them, and then go back to him? Please to explain, why a TV network, and I’m lookin‘ at you CBS, would spend $20 million a year on this asshat?
Hey CBS! I can do his job for a tenth of what you pay him and you wouldn’t have to worry about me getting arrested or going to rehab or divorces or battery charges or being addicted to porn…okay, let me have that last one, because I promise it won’t keep me from showing up to work.
This is scary, but I kind of like Victoria Beckham. Now, to be fair, I’d really only want to be her friend to get close to her husband :::::yum::::: but she is quite funny. And, yes, almost human.
I saw her on The View this week and she seemed far less alien than she looks. She was quite funny, at times, though, I must say, to hear her talk about how the CFDA [Council of Fashion Designers of America] was working to keep underage models and Number 2 pencil thin models off the runway, was a hoot.
I mean, Posh Spice, who allegedly had ribs removed so she could be a size -4, who hasn’t eaten solid food since 1995, talking about too thin models? Joy Behar laughed so hard she blew Posh off the couch.
Posh Spice talking about ridding the runways of the world of too thin models is like me talking about reducing the bitchy catty attitude of gay men.
What?
Justin Timberlake is gay.
Yup, big old queen. Okay, he might not be gay [openly] but he is a big old prissy boy.
And a bitchy one at that.
But he needs his space and he longs for his privacy. How Garbo of him.
He was having a show from his design collection ::::i know….funny…..right::::: the William Rast collection, last week, and he made certain that all staff members at the venue signed a Don’t-Look-At-Me-Talk-To-Me-Breathe-On-Me-Or-Speak-My-Name gag order. He also made certain that much of the venue was closed to every one but, well, him.
Queeeeeeeeen.
Everyone else, from stylists, models, assistants, coordinators and anyone who worked on the show was crammed into a corner so Justin could roam freely, and alone.
Bitch please. It’s not like you’re Jennifer Lopez.
Vanity Fair always does a New Hollywood issue, featuring all the new talent out there, just aching for a trip on the Casting Couch. Trouble is, as usual, their New Hollywood, is skinny, pasty, and white.
Not good news for Gabourey Sidibie, star of Precious: Based on the Novel push by Sapphire. She wasn’t asked to be anywhere near Vanity Fair as they readied their New Hollywood version. Seriously, one of the most break-out performances of the year, and she isn’t asked to join the shoot.
I bet she’s pissed.
Um, no, because Gabby takes the high road. Asked if she was upset at being excluded, Gabby said: “At first I thought, ‘Hmm, should I be there? Then I very quickly got over it. I think if I were a part of that shoot I would have felt a little left out anyway. I would have felt a little like… whether or not I should have been there. [It] doesn’t matter, because I wasn’t on it and I’m excited to be mentioned anywhere, and it doesn’t matter to me where I’m not mentioned.”
Gabby don’t need no stinking Vanity Fair.
This has to be a joke.
It seems that producers of American Idol have lost their marbles. Word comes from somewhere, perhaps inside my head, that Paula Deen, of the FOOD Network, will come on the show as a guest judge this season.
Supposedly, the deal has been in the works for “weeks.”

In related news, Randy Jackson will have his own Food Network Show called Dawg Bonz.
Pot.Kettle.Black.
Lisa Rinna, of big ginormous fake, pumped full of goddess knows what, lips fame, is flapping those enormous lips about Heidi “Media Whore” Montag.
She apparently tore the cover off of People magazine the week Heidi was featured because she didn’t think it was appropriate for her own young girls to read about Heidi’s Surgical Misadventure’s.
See, in the Rinna house, you can’t look at pictures of women who’ve gone off the plastic surgery deep end, unless it’s a picture of mommy and her inflatable lips and breasts and frozen forehead.
Speaking of plastic surgery, Jane Fonda has gone the nip/tuck route. Again. At 72-years-old, Fonda, looking gorgeous, decided she needed some touch ups done in time for the DVD release of her new exercise video.
But, unlike Heidi and Rinna, Fonda cops to the knife talk, and jokes about it:
“I just had some work done on my chin and neck and had the bags taken away from under my eyes so I decided it would be a good idea to get a new haircut so people will think it’s my new hair.”
Fool ’em with a new ‘do, Jane.

Brazilliant!
I loves me some Judge Judy.
I admit it. I’m an addict, and I will not be joining any 12-step program to cure myself of Judy.
And, obviously, I’m not the only one.
Judy’s show has been on the number one spot against any other syndicated half hour court show for 700 consecutive weeks! Thirteen freakin‘ years!
So, Judge Alex, and Judge Mathis and Judge Fill In The Blank, keep plugging along, because you’ll never catch her.

In fact, she’s even out-Oprah’s Oprah a few times.
Makes me love her even more.
Peta has a Hit List, and Catherine Zeta-Jones is right up there, at the top!
The animal activist group has named Zeta-Jones their Worst Dressed Celeb of the year for her extensive wardrobe of animal skins and fur:
“With her creepy cow-skin pants, ugly fox coat, and icky alligator bag, Catherine Zeta-Jones looks like she’s working her way through Noah’s ark with a knife. Maybe she’s trying to get into character for an upcoming role as a serial killer–or a taxidermist.”
Michael Douglas should be careful. apparently Catherine is fond of leathery looking handbags and he has just the face for it.

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8 Comments

Filed under American Idol, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Charlie Sheen, Gabourey Sidibie, Jane Fonda, Judge Judy, Justin Timberlake, Lisa Rinna, Paula Deen

8 responses to “>I Ain’t One To Gossip, But………………

  1. >It's all in the punchline, Bob, great shot at Michael Douglas to close :)LoveMac

  2. >Gabourey Sidibie is a classy gal.

  3. >Bob, if you have not seen the CZJ skit from French & Saunders, you really must. I hate that bitch and Dawn French knocks her down to size well.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Nca7BuzpgY

  4. >I never got Charlie Sheen. I just don't see why people think he's such a great comedic actor. It's almost as if he tries too hard to deliver the writer's lines. Delivering great comedic lines is all in the timing and facial expression, and doesn't have it.And I agree with you about Miss Victoria. I saw her on The View this week too, and I couldn't believe it; she DID actually seem human!

  5. >Thanks to Kyle for the link. Heeheeeheeheehee

  6. >Judge Judy? Really? I'm sorry, but her court is the most kangaroo of all of them. The bitch has already decided the case before they enter the courtroom. I refuse to watch her. I give this show a minus 10 for bad acting on a fraudulent court show.

  7. Joy

    >I don't like Catherine Diva Jones either. She's so haughty and entitled. Ugh!!! I don't get Charlie Sheen as well. He seems to play himself on that show only nicer.

  8. >I'll admit it too. I'm a HUGE Judy fan. There's nothing quite so satisfying as seeing stupid, immoral people being held accountable. (My goodness, I can see Russia from my pedestal)

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