Monthly Archives: May 2010

>Happy Memorial Day

>To the troops…………………

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>Sunday Funnies

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Filed under Cartoons, DADT, Dick Cheney, Oil Spill, Rand Paul, Rush Limbaugh, Sunday Funnies, Tea Party

>I Ain’t One To Gossip, But…….

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Tom Cruise ALLEGEDLY got all diva in his high heels the other night.
Why, you say?
Two words: Joshua Jackson.
Remember Dawson’s Creek? Me neither.
But, when that show was on the air, Joshua Jackson and the current Mrs. Tom-Stepford-Cruise, Katie Holmes, were in love. Katie has since called Jackson her first love and says that she will “treasure” him always.
And that’s what got Tom’s granny panties in a bunch at some film awards show in London.
Sources, which usually means cater waiters and bar staff, said that Tommy Grrrl was so incensed that Jackson would be at the same event that he had his people call with all kinds of “stipulations” or else Tommy wasn’t coming!
He wanted it clear that that Jackson and his date, Diane Kruger, would be seated nowhere near Cruise central. He wanted extra security, you know, in case Joshua Jackson came over to do something, like say ‘Hello’. Tommy even demanded two dressing rooms–one for himself and one for Suri; you know, you can’t start too late in the diva training.
Tommy also arrived forty-five minutes late to ensure Jackson was not on the red carpet as he an his Robot schmoozed the crowd.
Little man.
Giant ego.
This sounds scary.
Mariah Carey was set to appear in Tyler Perry’s film version of For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf but pulled out at the last minute sparking rumors that she is with child.
Mama Mariah say it ain’t so!
Say you just went all Oprah on the buffet table!
But her mouthpiece, Colonel Sanders is his name, I think, said: “She is not doing the movie because her doctor advised her not to. More than that I cannot comment further.”
Hmmm.
Doctors.
Not working.
Could be a baby.
Could be a massive dose of lipo because Moo-Moo likes her pastries.

I am done with American Idol, but I will gossip about it.
Y’all saw–well, not y’all because ratings were waaaaaay down this year–the return of past winners, and losers, on the stage this year, but Adam Lambert was noticeably absent. American Idol minions say Lambert didn’t show up for rehearsals, and they were afraid of what he might do on stage–like kiss a guy or something–so they planned the song without him.
Lambert, however, says he was never invited to perform. In fact, he says he was simply asked to be in the audience. And Lambert says he was too busy rehearsing for his tour to even do that.
People are calling him a diva, I say he’s being smart. Why align yourself with that cheese-and-snooze-fest.
Plus, um, yeah, Daughtry? Jennifer Hudson? Where were they? It strikes an odd chord that three of the Idol losers who’ve gone on to greater success that the winners were not onstage that night.
Sour grapes, it sounds like, to me.

I love a story that just gets crazier and crazier.
Remember all those Matt Lauer cheating on his wife rumors? Me too!
Well, someone named Alexis Houston was the subject of Matt Lauer infidelity rumors, and now Miss Houston has hired media-whore-ambulance-chaser Gloria Allred to represent her.
Why, you ask? Me too!
Alexis says her privacy has been invaded with all this Lauer speculation, and she wants it stopped. Of course, she doesn’t say she cheated with Lauer, and she doesn’t say she didn’t cheat with Lauer.
But……and this is where the crazy comes in.
She used to be he.
Alexis Houston, who says she’s a singer, used to go by the name Wellington Houston, and was born Stuart Houston. ALLEGEDLY, this Miss Houston had a sex-change when a man fell in love with her and paid for the operation. In fact, she was a he when Whitney Houston sued him in 1996 for falsely claiming a cousin relationship with Whit; Whitney sued again in 2001 when her voice appeared on his or her–I’m confused too–demo tape.
That’s crazy enough, but this Matt Lauer connection is even crazier.
Matty? if you liked the menz, you could’a called me; but maybe you just liked the womenz who used to be menz.
ALLEGEDLY.

PR news!
The show is on Lifetime–television for women and gay men–to stay, and the franchise, like a Heidi Klum pregnancy waistline will be expanding.
Two new Runway-esque projects are being developed by Lifetime.
The first reunites two former Runway contestants, windbag nutjob, Santino Rice and The Fabulous Austin Scarlett as they travel cross-country to find women who need a do-over, make-over.
The second show, which is in the first trimester of development, but will also star Heidi Klum and her hubby, Seal, in some sort of reality show, I’m imagining.
Seal. Heidi. The kids.
Lifetime seems to be going all TLC with this one.

This makes me laugh because it reeks of desperation, and comedy, and pathos.
No, just comedy.
Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. who will be celebrating their sixth wedding anniversary this summer, will do so by renewing their vows in a ginormous, media-centric, tabloid-inspired ceremony at their home in California.
Nice, I guess. But, after six years you think they really need a renewal? I mean, JLO and Skeletor renewed their vows once already in 2008. Why keep going?
Of course, with JLo’s record, maybe Marc Anthony thinks he needs to constantly remind her that she’s a married woman lest she run off with a restaurant owner, or a wannabe rapper, or has-been actor. Or the cable guy.
Like she hasn’t done that before!

Jessica Simpson.
I don’t want to make fun of the fact that she has, um, expanded her, um, empire waistline, but I will talk about her ginormous head.
Apparently, Simpson has a TV show called The Price Of Beauty, where she and a camera crew and the minions that dress her, style her, make her up, feed her, and see to it that she wipes after Number Two, travel the world giving make-up and hair tips to the underprivileged.
And Simpson says, of her show, on beauty–I laugh because it’s pathetic: “I’m not saying I’m changing the world. But…to be able to sit with my Dad and [create] Price of Beauty. It’s similar to missionary work. It was what I was called to do and called to be.”
Giving make-up tips to people in third world countries who would much rather have a glass of water and a crust of bread is your idea of missionary work?
Seriously.
Jessica. No talent. Big assed. Stupid. You should stay home.

This gets me hot’n’bothered.
But in a good way.
The National Enquirer–I know…but they did break the John Edwards story–is saying that Hottie McEnglish, 007 star, Daniel Craig might be bisexual.
Or….and here’s where I’m hot’n’bothered….gay.
It seems that ALLEGEDLY Daniel was seen kissing a good-looking guy a couple of weeks back at the Roosterfish bar in Venice.
[Note to self: Get to Roosterfish. And bring a martini shaker for Mister Bond.]
An onlooker in the parking lot–meaning some drunk guy who hopes upon hope that Craig is gay….and, No, it wasn’t me–says: “It was definitely Daniel Craig, and he was most certainly making out with a guy. Daniel kissed his friend on the lips. It was an open-mouth passionate French kiss. In fact, Daniel held the guy’s head in his hands and pull him in for the kiss!”
I’m.Dying.
Of.Jealousy.
But, when Daniel saw he was being watched, the witness–who took a National Enquirer polygraph test….I know–claims Craig then “immediately broke away from the guy. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it.”
Another source inside the bar–which means a drunk-on-Cosmos-homo near the back door–says: “When Daniel and his friend walked in, the looked like any other upscale gay couple checking out the scene. He rubbed Daniel’s leg and shoulder while they talked, and Daniel didn’t seem to mind. At first, I thought Daniel may have come in with his gay friend to check out the live music. But when they started dancing together, I though, ‘This is more than just two friends out for drinks.'”
Craig’s reps have not responded to the allegations.
He shoots. He kills. He kisses men.
Swoon.

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Filed under Adam Lambert, American Idol, Daniel Craig, Gloria Allred, Heidi Klum, Jessica Simpson, JLo, Katie Holmes, Marc Anthony, Mariah Carey, Matt Lauer, Project Runway, Seal, Tom Cruise

>This One’s For Carlos…..

>….because I’m mad about that boy!

Y’all have a fabulous weekend!

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>Come ALL The Way Out, Roy

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See what the closet does.

Last year, California state Senator Roy Ashburn was a deeply closeted, deep in denial gay man. Not too much wrong there, really, it’;s his choice to be out, open and honest. But the sad part was that, as a senator, Ashburn consistently voted against LGBT legislation in his state.

That’s what the closet does. it forces you to work against yourself so no one would ever suspect you might be gay. It forces you to deny your very self.

But now, two months after his drunk driving arrest, two months after it was discovered he was leaving a Sacramento gay bay, two months after reluctantly announcing he was gay, Roy Ashburn openly discussed his sexual orientation on the Senate floor and cast votes on two separate gay-rights bills.

He was the only Republican senator to vote in support–SUPPORT–of allowing openly gay people to serve in the military. He gets a half hand-clap here, because he also voted against–AGAINST–a bill that would clarify that clergy members would not be required to perform a civil marriage that was contrary to his or her faith.

Ashburn explained his votes on the Senate floor: “I would not have been speaking on a measure dealing with sexual orientation ever prior to the events that have transpired in my life over the last three months. However, I am no longer willing or able to remain silent on issues that affect sexual orientation and the rights of individuals. And so I am doing something that is quite different and foreign to me, and it’s highly emotional.”

Ashburn also said, of DADT:
“The public supports allowing openly gay people to serve in the military….The current policy of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ is clearly out of date and discriminatory.’’

But what about that second bit of business?

Ashburn said he supported the portion of the legislation that made it clear clergy members would face no sanctions, including the loss of tax-exempt status for their churches, if they refused to perform gay marriages, but called it “troublesome’’ that the bill described marriages as “civil’’ unions. Since Prop H8 gave a definition of marriage, Roy Ashburn said he was worried the new definition in the bill could muddy the water and lead to new lawsuits on the issue.

But, Roy, you’re out, you’re a little bit proud. Don’t you see that allowing marriage equality is just the same as repealing DADT.

Prop H8, like, DADT, to use your own words, is “out of date and discriminatory.” Two bad you’re not out of the closet enough to see that.

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Filed under California, Closeted Gay, DADT, LGBT, LGBT Rights, Marriage, Roy Ashburn

>I Didn’t Say It…….

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Sir Ian McKellen, on why he chose acting:
“I’d heard that a lot of professional actors were gay. Acting seemed like a chance for me to meet like-minded people. You know, at that time same-sex love in Britain got you into prison. Homosexuality was being completely hushed up. Gay teachers, politicians or firemen – that was something unthinkable. When I was young I thought I was the only gay Brit. That’s why I was glad to find people like me in the actors guild.”

Lady Gaga, on rumors that she’s, well, a he:
“I love the rumor that I have a penis. I’m fascinated by it. In fact, it makes me love my fans even more that this rumor is in the world because 17,000 of them come to an arena every night and they don’t care if I’m a man, a woman, a hermaphrodite, gay, straight, transgendered, or transsexual. They don’t care! They are there for the music and the freedom. This has been the greatest accomplishment of my life- to get young people to throw away what society has taught them is wrong. Gay culture is at the very essence of who I am and I will fight for women and for the gay community until I die.”

Iowa Congressman, and Asshat King, Steve King, on the high numbers of gays and lesbians heading to Iowa to get married:
“Just over one year ago, when the Iowa Supreme Court decided to ignore Iowa law and grant same sex couples the ability to get married in our state, I predicted that the decision, absent action by the state legislature to enact a marriage license residency requirement, would turn Iowa into the gay marriage Mecca. Now, the Iowa Department of Public Health is reporting that of the more than 2,000 same-sex couples who were married in Iowa between April 27, 2009, and March 31, 2010, sixty percent were from out of state. Unfortunately, we’ve seen another legislative session pass without action on either a constitutional amendment to overturn the court’s decision, or a marriage license residency requirement to keep the harmful effects of the court’s decision from being imported by ‘altar shoppers’ into other states. This new report from the Department of Public Health reemphasizes the short-sightedness of the court’s decision to enact a same-sex marriage law from the bench, and it provides even more evidence of the need for a residency requirement and a constitutional amendment to repeal it.”

Dan Savage, on the sentencing of a gay couple, Steven Monjeza and Tiwonge Chimbalanga, in Malawi to 14 years in prison for having a commitment ceremony:
“Malawi is dependent on foreign aid—most of it from Britain and the US—and that aid should be withdrawn. The government of Malawi should be told that it can have its rabid anti-gay bigotry or it can it can have foreign aid. But it can’t have both.”

GOProud’s Jessica Lee, on DADT and the Democrats:
“‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ is the most dramatic and disappointing example of the Democrats’ failure. Despite overwhelming public support for repeal, Congress is at an impasse on the issue and the administration of our “fierce advocate,” despite his promise to repeal, is now urging Congress not to vote for repeal this year.”It is clear the gay community is taken for granted by the Democratic Party. No matter how much money we give them or how many doors we knock on for their candidates our issues are never a priority. And not until we make Democrats compete for our money and our votes will they be. I know as gay conservatives, we have an uphill battle. I understand how entrenched the Democratic Party is within our community. But you can be a good gay person who supports equality and not be a Democrat. Gay conservatives share many of the same goals as our friends on the left, even if we may disagree on the best policy route to get us there.”

Madonna, on the conviction of gay Malawi couple Steven Monjeza and Tiwonge Chimbalanga:
“I am shocked and saddened by the decision made today by the Malawian court, which sentenced two innocent men to prison. As a matter of principle, I believe in equal rights for all people, no matter what their gender, race, color, religion, or sexual orientation. Today, Malawi took a giant step backward. The world is filled with pain and suffering; therefore, we must support our basic human right to love and be loved. I call upon the progressive men and women of Malawi—and around the world—to challenge this decision in the name of human dignity and equal rights for all.”

Archbishop Janis Pujats, speaking out of his ass about homosexuality:
“We must assert that homosexuality is an acquired vice that can be likened to addiction to drugs, alcoholism, tobacco smoking, etc., so that those who practice it cannot be treated as a ‘minority.’ We must say that sexual perversion cannot be tolerated in the public sphere so that this disorder is not turned into a bad example for all society. If someone has inclinations to vice, vice must be reined in and treated. It cannot be legalized or protected, erroneously invoking the notion of human rights. Homosexuality is not a sexual orientation; it is a sexual perversion.”

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Filed under Archbishop Janis Pujats, Dan Savage, Jessica Lee, Lady GaGa, Madonna, Sir Ian McKellen, Steve King

>The Friday Fill-In

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I hijacked this post from Robbie, who hijacked it from Virginia, who hijacked it from…..oh who cares. It’s kinda fun, so I’m giving it a shot. Feel free to do the same, just substitute the words NOT in red boldface with your own.

1. Wine is the best food to take on a picnic because it goes with everything.
2. Summer used to be for running and jumping and playing and swimming and now it hot and sticky and there’s too much yard work.
3. In South Carolina flip flops are considered dress shoes.
4. To love someone is the ultimate compliment.
5. A long hike is just that. Long. And a hike. Who has the time? Or the energy. When it’s summertime and I’m wearing flip-flops and hiking without the man I love who stayed home with the wine?
6. When I crave food it’s a sign I might be pregnant….if I was a woman….a straight woman.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to the air cooling off and a little thunderstorm to liven things up, tomorrow my plans include yard work and yard work and work in the yard, while on Sunday, I want to spend the entire day with Carlos.

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Filed under Bob, List