So, last week Carlos was mowing the lawn and was stung by a wasp.
Not funny, I know.
Ozzo was stung, too.
Still not funny.
But then we discovered that they were wasps who build a nest underground and that the sound of the mower had them come shooting out of their nests like kamikaze pilots attacking every man and every dog in sight. So, Carlos did what every man would do,
He put a brick on the entrance to the nest and called Round-The-Way-Gays, Neal and David.
Neal told him that he’d need to get a certain kind of wasp spray that you spray at the nest and the wasps and it kills them instantly. But you must, you MUST, be ready to run because the wasps get pissed when you try to murder them. And, Neal explained, it’s best to do it with another person so that one can spray and one can sound the alarm when the wasps appear.
Luckily for me, I was unavailable for Wasp Watch 2010, so Neal and David came over early one evening to help Carlos murder the insects.
And it worked. Bees gone.
I know, because Carlos proudly told me how well their plan of attack worked. How they worked as a team to murder wasps.
But, um, yeah, then I spoke to Neal.
And the story was slightly different, though the ending, Wasps B gone, was the same.
Neal and David stood watch as Carlos readied the spray nozzle and took aim at the entrance of the Underground Lair Of The Wasps. Neal said the he’d wished I could have seen the sight of “three queens fighting bees who were protecting a queen.” And Neal told me how, whenever he or David would yell “BEE!” Carlos would instantly start spraying in any and every direction.
It’s days like that that I wish I had a video camera. I would have loved to see my Bee Killer, and his Team, doing their duty, while shrieking like girls and running in circles around the yard.
Maybe next time.