>Jersey Shore star[?] Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was charged Wednesday with annoying people on the beach.
What about annoying people through the TV?
Plus, she was subsequently fined for ALLEGING that her name was Snooki. Seriously, she’s an almost grown woman. Snooki?
This new charge stems from her late July arrest–isn’t she a peach–in Seaside Heights, a New Jersey beach town. The faux-reality celebutard is also facing charges of disorderly conduct and creating a public nuisance.
And for calling herself Snooki.
Snooki’s mouthpiece, one Raymond Raya, entered a not guilty plea for all three charges. If convicted, she’ll face up to $2,000 in fines. Oops, there goes tanning bed and bad hair-do time.
The little twit says the arrest was a wake-up call of sorts, because she embarrassed her family: “My dad was very, very pissed. He’s like, ‘I didn’t raise you like this.’ I just felt really bad, so I’m definitely going to stop drinking during the daytime.”
How proud he must be hearing you announce that you’ll end your daytime booze-fests.
Real Housewives of New Jersey star[?] Teresa Giudice and her husband Joe owe creditors nearly $11 million in various debts, and have filed for bankruptcy.
But whose fault is it? That $11 million debt?
Teresa, she’s the dumb one[?], blames her fame for why she’s
“If she wasn’t on the show, this all would be much easier,” a friend–and by friend I mean dumbass neighbor–says. “Everything would be settled by now, but because she is now famous everyone is using the situation to get press for themselves and humiliate her and her family. It’s honestly got to the point where she’s not sure if she wants to come back for another season.”
Oh, she’ll be back. She needs to money and the fame-whoring exposure.
See, just a few days ago, new evidence proved the Teresa and her whipped husband Joe spent $60,000 on furnishing, after they filed for bankruptcy.
Teresa and Joe bought $8,800 curtains and spent $45,000 on wall hangings, mirrors, frames, tables and chairs, while trying to convince a Newark federal bankruptcy judge to stop the August 22 auction of their personal belongings.
“Teresa is sick of everyone knowing all her private financial business,” an insider–and by insider, I mean, someone who sold Teresa $8,000 drapes–says, “She didn’t sign up to be on ‘Housewives’ so that everyone could look into her bank account. Millions of couples go through what they are going through, except no one knows about it. It’s just not fair.”
Yeah, but while going through bankruptcy most couples aren’t out spending more money.
Yeah, I blame Bravo, too.
Well, it seems going to jail and rehab pays more than starring in movies.
Drug addict, and convicted criminal, Lindsay Lohan is expected to make $1 million for her first interview as a free woman with OK Magazine!
And I imagine it will go up her nose faster than you can say, Lindsay stop!
Still, some folks are hoping that this will be the wale-up call that Lohan needs to get her life in order and stop being such a fuckup and a drain on society.
And then there’s this bit of good news.
She will not be punished for, ahem, stealing her friends Rolex.
Before Lohan disappeared into prison and rehab, she was accused of stealing a $35,000 watch from a friend’s apartment. The owner of the watch claimed to have photographic evidence that proved Lindsay was wearing the timepiece that she never returned.
But then, oddly enough, this week, after news came of Lohan’s million dollar payday from Okay Magazine! the charges miraculously vanished.
As did a small chunk of that cool million.
A judge in Illinois has dismissed a lawsuit against against Gabrielle Union that was brought by Siohvaughn Wade, ex-wife to Union’s current man, Dwayne Wade. Siohvaughn had accused Gabrielle Union of engaging in “sexual foreplay” in front of her kids with Dwayne, leaving the tiny tots “psychologically damaged.”
Wow, watching Daddy get busy with the mistress? Yeah, that’s not good.
But Gabrielle and her team have denied the accusations from the beginning, calling the suit a “waste of time” and claiming the matter was something that didn’t “belong in the Illinois Court System.”
Apparently, the judge agreed and the suit went bye-bye.
Mistresses and whores, take note.
Zsa Zsa Gabor has been on her deathbed for weeks, though now, thankfully, she is reportedly back home and getting better. And there are reports that Zsa Zsa and her daughter, Francesca Hilton, who have long been estranged, may have reunited.
But that happy occasion didn’t stop Zsa Zsa’s husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, from renewing a 2005 lawsuit alleging Francesca stole millions of dollars from Gabor.
“People come out of the woodwork, like vultures waiting for her to die, so they can take her money, but I will not let that happen,” von Anhalt, who is Gabor’s ninth husband and would like all of what’s left of Zsa Zsa’s money to be his.
Years back, Zsa Zsa accused her daughter of “conspiring with others to fraudulently take out a $3.75 million loan on her home and of then taking $2 million of it to buy herself a house,” Francesca Hilton, daughter of hotelier Conrad Hilton and great aunt of Paris Hilton, says she was wrongfully accused of all charges and countersued for damages. The case was tossed when Zsa Zsa failed to appear in court.
Von Anhalt says he dropped the lawsuit in 2007 due to Gabor’s declining health, but now, as she is ALLEGEDLY near death, he’s back in court. Yeah, when the wife’s ill you drop the case, when the wife is dying, you sue again.
The folks at PETA will probably burn him in effigy.
Aging rocker, hasbeen, and big-time hunter, Ted Nugent was fined $1,750 after pleading no contest to charges of using illegal methods to kill a young dear on his reality show, Spirit of The Wild.
While taping his show, Ted was caught baiting and killing a spike buck with a bow and arrow, which, according to the California Department of Fish and Game is illegal considering the size of the animal.
Bambi is much too small to kill, by hunting.
Although I think Nugent cares more about the $1750 than he does about the life of a small animal.
Larry Birkhead, former boytoy, and ALLEGED homosexual, of Anna Nicole Smith, and father of their little bank account, er, girl, has testified in the case against Howard K. Stern and two doctors who are accused of unlawfully plying Smith with prescription drugs.
Birkhead revealed on the stand that he witnessed Smith take many medications during their relationship, though she always claimed she wasn’t an addict.
“She would say, ‘I’m in pain. I’m not a drug addict,'” Birkhead said. And when he asked if she was taking too many medications, she said, “I have a high tolerance because I’m in pain.”
Birkhead said when they lived together, he saw Methadone, Topamax, Vicadin, Ambien, Valium, Chlonopin and other drugs around Smith’s home. He also that he was so concerned about the number of drugs she was taking, that he at one point, he hid her Methadone.
But he doesn’t, or didn’t, think she was an addict?
Oh Larry, you’re an asshat.
And on the Mel Gibson front:
Oksana Girigorieva’s lawyers intend to subpoena Gibson’s ex-wife, Robyn Moore Gibson, in order to question her about her claims that Mel Gibson was not physically abusive during their recently-ended marriage of 28 years.
It seems the lawyers want to question the ex-Missus Alcoholic-Homophobe-Anti-Semite-Batterer because Melvin once admitted to Oksana that he threw a TV at his former wife.
Oksana also says she once saw Mel hitting his youngest son, Tommy.
It’s gonna be tough, though, because Robyn has already told the judge that “Mel never engaged in any physical abuse of any kind toward me before, during, or after our marriage.”
Uh, huh. Oksana, and I, thinks otherwise.
Mel should have taken a page from Elvis’ TV book: shoot out the set, don’t hurl it at anyone.
Saturday Night Live’s Fred Armisen filed for divorce this week from his wife of ten months.
Armisen is now ALLEGEDLY dating SNL costar Abby Elliott, who is roughly half his age.
This news comes just days after Armisen split from his wife, Mad Men star Elisabeth Moss, after less than a year of holy heterosexual traditional marriage.
A source–and by source, I mean the guy that holds the lights when they’re filming SNL–says: “After the split, Fred sought comfort in Abby. They just started dating a few months ago.”
Um, Fred, wasn’t May, when you split from your wife, just a few months ago?
Yeah, glad the heteros can have marriage.