Daily Archives: October 2, 2010

>I Ain’t One To Gossip, But…….

>File this under: I’m Watching.
A lot of people are feverishly curious as to who will be taking over that gaping hole in the TV landscape when Oprah finally drags her big fat ass off the air next year.

Well, it seems that Husband-In-My-Head, Randy Andy Cooper, is in talks with Warner Bros. and Telepictures Productions about the possibility of hosting a syndicated daytime talk show.
Anderson in the daytime? I’m loving it!
His show would feature topical issues like everything from celebs to social issues.
And he wouldn’t be complaining about his weight, or giving away cars and trips–and sticking his audience with the taxes–nor sucking up to the likes of Cruise and Travolta.
In other words, the anti-Oprah.
Now, there may be a snag, because those bitches at CNN still want my Coop to continue hosting Anderson Cooper 360.
But , man oh man, my blue-eyed, silver-haired husband on in the daytime?
We may have to call it gaytime TV.
At least at my house.

File this under: Dumbfucks With Twitter Accounts.

50 Cent–real name Curtisssssssssssssss–took to his Twitter page to comment on straight men who don’t go, um, downtown, and well, by the rule, gay men who aren’t fans of the vah-jay-jay.
Tweeted Curtisssssssssssssss:
“If you a man and your over 25 and you don’t eat pu**y just kill your self damn it. The world will be a better place. Lol”
I’ll translate from the original Illiterate: “If you are a man over the age of twenty-five, and you do not perform cunnilingus, then you ought to commit suicide. The world will be a better place. Laughing out loud.”
Curtisssssssssssssss, emphasis on the “s”?
You a dick.

Reality show moron Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi will be writing and releasing a novel, to be published by Simon & Schuster.
From the Oh Dear God No! department comes the following story.

It is :::gag:::: ALLEGEDLY entitled, ‘A Shore Thing,’ and according to Simon & Schuster it will :::ahem:::: “revolve around a girl looking for love on the boardwalk.”
Or, better yet, under it.
Wow. A woman known for getting drunk and acting the fool, and wearing her hair in some 1950s hasbeen ripoff do, gets to write a book.

Wouldn’t she have to read one first?

Oh wait, I guess she has, because earlier this year, this illiterate no-talent wannabe, famous for doing absolutely nothing but tan, drink, and act the fool, Tweeted that she had just read her first book.
The magical story of a cat.
Who wears a hat.

Drug mule, drug addict, no-talent, Paris Hilton is set to star in a new reality series on Oxygen, according to the New York Post.

A source–and by source, I mean the highly paid gynecologist who packs Paris’ vagina with coke before she travels–says: “This isn’t ‘The Simple Life,’ where she played a campy version of herself. This show will give viewers a glimpse of the real Paris and her life, which is sometimes quite amazing.”
The real Paris.
We’ll learn how many dime bags she can carry in her hoo-hah.
We’ll learn the different meanings of the word ‘hot,’ depending on the inflection used.
We’ll learn how a high school dropout, drug addict can get her own show.
Suggested title: Jackass.
Already taken?

Right on the heels of her recent voluntary admission to her fifth, or is it sixth, rehab stay, Lindsay Lohan’s brother, Michael Jr. has come to her defense. I guess Dina had a photo shoot. Or a drug buy.
The Junior Lohan says that Lindsay’s troubles begin and end with the people with whom she surrounds herself.

Again, Dina?

Junior: “People she was surrounded by–enablers, [Dina] leeches, [Dina] whatever you’d like to call it [Dina…famewhore mom] –made things very difficult. It’s quite strenuous to right your wrongs when the people around you [Dina] help justify your actions. Therefore, cloudy judgment made it easy for her to neglect those trying to guide her [the judge in her case].”
Then he added, “I think that in the past, her vision had been blurred [by drugs and alcohol and a mother who has pimped her out her entire life and then makes excuses for her].”
Junior also spoke of his sister’s renewed dedication to changing her ways, but, um, yeah, unless she cuts her enabling party mom out of her life, I don’t see much hope.

File this under: Oh no! I’m Sad!
It seems that Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss are ALLEGEDLY no longer the BFFs that they used to be.

I wonder if Naomi threw a phone at Kate’s head so she’d stop doing cocaine in every bathroom in New York.
It seems that during London Fashion Week the supercokehead Moss passed on attending Naomi’s 25th Anniversary bash even though she was just down the street scoring drugs, or selling her designer handbags for Longchamp.
But then I hear that the real rift started when Cokate Moss was rude to guests at Campbell’s charity show earlier this year.
A source–and by source I mean the guy that holds Naomi’s phone so she won’t attack with it–says: “Kate was a little worse for wear that night. Naomi wasn’t impressed. She wants to dedicate herself to good causes and there’s some feeling that Kate drags her down.”
And by good causes, she means phones made of velvet that won’t hurt the help when you want to bash them upside the head.
Naomi is such a giver.



Filed under 50 Cent, Anderson Cooper, Lindsay Lohan, Naomi Campbell, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Paris Hilton Is A Moron