Mark Morford has written a wonderful piece for the SF Gate [HERE] where he wonders if it’s, well, okay to feel a little “Sympathy For The Wretched Politician.”
I think not, but let’s listen in as Mark makes a case for wanting to hold these wingnuts and tell them that everything will be okay….soon.
On Sharron Angle:
“It can’t be easy to wake up every day and have to be Sharron Angle, can it? To step in front of live cameras and actually claim that Islamic religious law is taking over some American cities? And to say it with a straight face?
What must it be like to live inside such a tiny, misfiring brain and call yourself the queen of infinite space? It cannot be comfortable in there. It can’t feel anything like joy, or fun, or freedom. It’s just a million screaming little gnats, fighting over a breadcrumb of significance.”
And then Glenn Beck:
“There goes poor little Glenn Beck, launching his Sucking Off America road trip tour (or whatever it’s called) for a scattershot crowd of barely 700 very white, very scared, very bewildered people in a Midwestern fairground space that holds 8,000, sweating like a farm animal, bombing like a bad comic, working like a big top huckster to lure in the easily duped.
Do you feel for Glenn Beck? It cannot, after all, be easy, maintaining that bizarre shtick at every twitch and turn. What mark will Glenn leave upon this world? What sort of misshapen legacy? Will it not smell of clumsy punch lines and stillborn fear and liquid cheese left out in the sun? ”
He even feels the pain of what it must be like to be Carl “I’m Not Anti-Gay” Paladino:
“Every day, a new opportunity for empathy. Look, there’s New York Republican gubernatorial candidate and weirdo sad-sack Carl Paladino, no stranger to inflammatory, racist, insane comments, coming out on the same week of brutal attacks on gays in New York — not to mention a rash of horrible gay teen suicides — saying how he’s “not a homophobic,” while in the very same breath saying he doesn’t want his kids anywhere near gay people and that gay pride parades are “disgusting,” and so on. Oh Carl, you sad old man. Your path is cruel and weird. Here, have a shaved ice.”
But Moford also empathizes with South Carolina’s own, Jim DeMint-ed:
“Paladino might be a clown, but Sen. Jim DeMint, R-S.C., makes Paladino look like an amateur. Here is DeMint, saying how gay people should be barred from teaching in public schools. Not wretched enough? DeMint added that the ban should also include single women who have sex. That’s right. Dear Sen. DeMint: Your mom called. She’s having some regrets.”
I sorta wished he’d gone on about DeMint-ed, but, well, there are so many wretched politicians and so little time. Like Rich Iott:
“What to make of Ohio’s very own Republican (of course) congressional candidate and Tea Party nutbunny Rich Iott, who’s been dressing up for years in Nazi Waffen SS outfits to participate in wacky little historical re-enactments? Iott says it’s all just innocent fun, all for the love of WWII. Sort of like dressing up as a serial rapist just because you like women, eh, Rich?”
But, then Moford takes aim at the entire Tea Part in Missouri:
“Oh you wacky Tea Party screammonkeys, such a gargantuan truckload of empathy you require. There you go, hating on all the tortured puppies of Missouri. Did you hear? The Humane Society is sponsoring some powerful anti-puppy mill legislation in that fair state, one of the worst in the country for abused animals.
Missouri Tea Partiers are, of course, whining and wailing against the legislation. Can you guess why? If you said, “Because filthy, abusive puppy mills provide much-needed jobs for ethically deficient Americans,” congratulations! You’re absolutely, sickeningly right.”
And, last, and oh so least, Christine “I’m Not A Witch, I’m You” O’Donnell–which, to be fair, is a little like shooting fish in a barrel:
“Don’t forget to take a moment, before it’s too late, to celebrate the charming lunacy of Christine O’Donnell, anti-masturbation goofnickel and all-around Tea Party hood ornament, before she slides back into total irrelevance. Do you feel empathy for poor Christine? She is trailing by double digits in the polls. She is scrambling for footing up a mountain of dumb.
What’s it like to wake up in her shoebox of panicky fairies every morning? What’s it like to be a bar of soap in her lukewarm bath? Shudder and sigh and wish her well on her demon-haunted path, that’s what I try to do.”
So, I ask you, dear readers, let’s do as Mark Morford asks, and take a moment to feel the pain of what it must be like to be a delusional wingnut.
Now, vote for someone who has a brain….and not one of these asshats qualifies.