Filed Under: Did Not See This Coming
An anonymous source–and by source I mean fame-seeking whore–claims that Christina Aguilera had an open marriage with her husband Jordan Bratman, so that Christina could be free top pursue relationships with……………….other women.
Now, this, ahem, source, happens to be a woman who ALLEGES that, while at gay bar, The Abbey, Christina sent over her bodyguard to ask if she would be interested in meeting the singer.
The fame-seeking whore says:
“The bodyguard told me it was an understanding within their marriage and that she brings girls home and Jordan’s okay with it…I met Christina in the bathroom and she told me she liked to play with girls. I ended up not pursuing anything with it because the situation just seemed so weird to me, but Christina was definitely looking to hook up…My understanding was that Jordan wasn’t involved when she brought girls home, so maybe the divorce is because Jordan’s jealousy got the best of him.””
Yeah, the situation seemed so weird but not weird enough for you not to flap your lips to the first person who offered you a payday.
And now for some more Gay Rocker News:
Just last week, Gavin Rossdale admitted to having a gay affair back when he was just a 17-year-old sexual experimenter. But, his former cross-dressing lover Marilyn [AKA Peter Robinson] is less than thrilled with Rossdale’s confession.
Why? Does the confession embarrass him? Well, no. Actually Marilyn’s a little pissed because when he first blabbed about the affair he was treated badly, and now Rossdale is promoting his, um, open door youthful indiscretion.
“I find it sad that when I spoke out about what we had, I was labelled a tattletale – and now, Gavin is using it to promote himself’. [I am] pleased that Gavin is finally able to be honest about our relationship.” Maybe one day Gwen will allow my name to be spoken again in her home without it having any negative connotations. We were together five years. But it felt like 40.”
He said. He said. She said. He said.
Or something like that.
I love a good catfight, and now we have a new one with Chelsea Handler facing off against Mister Mariah Carey, AKA Nick Cannon.
On Twitter, naturally.
“I just heard nick cannon is starting a comedy tour. Who’s going to do the comedy?”
“Wow @chelseahandler I actually used to have respect for you as a comic. But for one artist to diss another in the same art form. #Tasteless, Soon as I get off stage tonight, I’m going in on @chelseahandler I’m about to be relentless! OFF WITH HER HEAD but right now I got to focus.”
“Funny how all of @chelseahandler fans are coming at my like I did something to her. I don’t even know this broad! She on my s–t! But since it’s all in fun and supposedly just comedy, Let’s get to the muthaf–kin’ JOKES!!”
“Everyone knows @Chelseahandler had sex with the head of E! for her show. So when it gets canceled does he get residual p–sy for the reruns? @Chelseahandler Looks like she got hit in the face with a hot bag of nickels!”
“Just talked to @50Cent He said he made @chelseahandler get G-Unit tattooed on her balls!”
“@50Cent wasn’t hitting @chelseahandler they was just sharing testosterone tips.”
“@chelseahandler is like the new @joanrivers just without the funny and more plastic surgery.”
Wow, Nicky can’t take it at all.
Word to the wise, Never tell Mister Carey that he ain’t funny.
Even though he isn’t.
Well, it seems Jessica Simpson’s singing career isn’t over yet, but her career as a human being is teetering on the edge.
Simpson invited The 4Troops, a singing group of Iraq and Afghanistan vets, to join her onstage when she taped her upcoming PBS Christmas special. But then Simpson, or her father Joe, apparently uninvited the vets because they chose to wear camouflage instead of their finest uniforms.
A source–and by source, I mean the gal who reads the comics to Jessica–says:
“Jessica’s dad, Joe Simpson, effectively kicked them off the show because he didn’t like what they were wearing. They were in camo pants and blazers, the same outfits they wore to sing for General David Petraeus on the USS Intrepid. They were told they couldn’t perform unless they were wearing tuxedos. They waited for six hours until midnight only to be told their number with Jessica had been cut from the show. The irony was Jessica was on stage saying how much she supports and admires the troops, and the veterans were stuck in a room in the basement. Instead of enduring more humiliation, the veterans left.”
Jessica Simpson is denying that cutting their performance was a personal issue, and her rep–the one who spoon feeds her so she won’t get dirty–said:
“The song was cut due to time. Jessica wasn’t even aware. She is wholeheartedly devoted to the troops. She just returned from the Persian Gulf where she performed for and met with service men and women stationed at several different locations. The military was the source of inspiration for her entire Christmas album, so much so that she recorded a duet for the album with a USS Harry Truman sailor.”
I have a better idea.
Why not cut one of Jessica’s overblown, overindulged, auto-tuned, pitchy songs and let the vets sing?
Uh oh Nate.
Your show is going down faster than Oprah on a pile of Oreos.
Yes. It seems that although Oprah’s main gay–other than her husband Gayle–Nate Berkus is watching the viewers run from his show.
The Nate Berkus Show debuted strong, but his ratings are fading fast.
Nate is drawing less viewers than Nancy Grace–whatever that means, and industry analysts–and by industry analysts, I mean people who watch TV all day, every day–says:
“Berkus is likeable, but he pings from decorating to mommy bloggers to saving money to auction tips with the occasional celebrity appearance, making it difficult to discern the show’s true identity.”
Nate, honey, you’re cute, you’re gay, this should be working. But, dear, if you’re a designer, why are you doing Mommy and Me segments. I mean, you don’t see Martha Stewart delivering the news.
Stick with what you know.
Don’t make Oprah step away from the cakes and kick your ass for losing some of her money.
Michael Jackson’s dad wants money–and a lot of it–now that his meal ticket has passed away.
Joe Jackson has filed a lawsuit, seeking somewhere between $10-$500 million from Dr. Conrad Murray, who is ALLEGEDLY responsible for Michael Jackson’s death.
And, yeah, this is why Joe needs the money:
- -20% for loss of support because, dammit, Michael can’t work now that he’s dead.
- -40% for emotional distress because, dammit, Michael can’t work now that he’s dead.
- -40% for loss of comfort, aid, society, and companionship because, dammit, Michael can’t work now that he’s dead.
But Joe may have trouble getting all that he thinks he’s owed, because Dr. Murray is broke and his insurance company refuses to cover ANY settlement, regardless of the amount.
Poor, Joe, he may actually have to find a job instead of sponging off his children.
And, speaking of lawsuits, the family of the 17-year-old boy who was ALLEGEDLY attacked by Jodie Foster last May will file a civil lawsuit against the actress. The boy’s father–and by father, I mean the slacker who refuses to work when a lawsuit will pay the bills–says:
“We have retained an attorney to proceed with a civil suit against Jodie Foster for her assault since justice was not served by the DA’s office.”
Someone is apparently angry that the criminal case against Foster for ALLEGEDLY lashing out at, and bruising and scratching, the boy for attempting to take a photograph of her. Photos of the bruises and scratches were submitted to the LAPD, but assault charges were eventually dropped due to a lack of evidence.
Tony R–the bruised and scratched boy in question, says: “Ms. Foster viciously attacked me for taking a photo which was totally uncalled for and it scares me to think that we live in a society where it’s really okay to hit people if you’re a celebrity in Hollywood or if you are rich and famous.”
But it’s perfectly okay to sue the rich and famous because you ALLEGEDLY got scratched.
Despite all the buzz that über–stylist–I love using the word, über– Rachel Zoe is expecting her first child, Zoe is essentially denying it.
When asked if she was pregnant, Zoe ALLEGEDLY showed off her flat stomach and said, “Not at all. I’d be home sleeping.”
Still, last week, several unconfirmed reports stated that the 39-year-old stylist and husband Rodger Berman were expecting a baby. The rumors may have been fueled by her Bravo reality show, The Rachel Zoe Project because the couple’s decision over whether this was the right time for them to have a child was a major topic throughout the entire season.
Or the story could have been fueled by an image of Zoe sporting a baby bump, unless it turns out to be true that all she did was to have that extra grape at lunch.