Something awful happened to me last Saturday.
Carlos was off giving an HIV presentation so I was left to my own devices, which is never really good. I mean, I had all the best intentions, but, well, the best intentions….as they say.
There were plans for yardwork and housework and laundry and beds and all the joys of domesticity, until I turned the television on for a little background noise and, as a good gay man might do, I switched it to Bravo.
Bravo was showing a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills marathon, and I had seen glimpses of the first episode and thought it just about a bunch of spoiled, over-indulged wives talking about shoes and Botox and Rodeo Drive and shoes.
But then I heard Lisa Vanderpump speak and I was hooked. There’s something about an English accent and snark that i am drawn to like a gay man to a disco ball. She’s like Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan without all the ex-husbands, because Lisa, contrary to Bev Hills wives tradition, has been married just once, and still is married. Huh?
She’s fabulous and British and in love with her husband after twenty-nine years?
I was down, on the couch, for a five hour marathon.
I hate to say it, but I may need an intervention. But send Lisa, I want to hear her call me out in that accent of hers.
Just as fun as Lisa, is listening to the future ex-Missus Kelsey Grammer, Camille–who filmed the shows when she was the current Missus Kelsey Grammer–prattle on about being Missus Kelsey Grammer and how rich she is and how many homes she owns and how she never has to worry about money.
I smirk and say to my TV, Oh Camille, not any more. You’re old news now.
Yeah, I’m shallow like that.
Top Chef: Just Desserts featuring Dawn Hand renewal and Godiva Chocolate.
The Good: Sylvia Weinstock was back. Seriously, between the glasses and the accent, and the little touch of naughty, she could be my new best friend. It doesn’t hurt she lives in Beverly Hills because maybe she and Lisa Vanderpump and I can do lunch, and shoes, and Botox.
The Bad: Morgan. He is just bitter and angry all the time. I don’t know if it’s the edit, but he’s just horrible. Sullen. Angry. No one his hot Brazilian wife left his sorry soon-to-be-out ass and headed home.
The Worst: Zac was Pastry Bagged. But when you saw his anniversary cake for the Weinstocks you also saw the writing on the wall. Hell, he could have written it on the cake because everything else was on that cake. The judges said he stayed true to Zac Fabulous, but it looked like a cake I would have made; you know, paint it blue and throw everything on it.
So, the Final Three! Final Three! will be Sullen Morgan, Cutie Patootie Yigit, and Cartoon Danielle.
Hmmmmm…..who do I want to see win?
The Fashion Show s back, only this year they’ve tagged it The Ultimate Collection.
Lats year it was a cheap ready-to-wear knockoff of the PR, but this year they’ve stepped it up and added Iman.
She is a bitch, and I mean that with all the greatest respect and love. The way she barks out instructions and comments she almost had me run out and get a sewing machine and make her a dress in case she showed up at my door unexpectedly.
And she might just do that.
The cast of character, er, designers, no, characters is kinda fun. David, the obligatory straight one :::yawn::: is adorable, and, well, Latino Eduardo is also lovely eye candy. Calvin? Yeah, he says he turns into a bitch after 3PM and I think all the clocks on the show say 3 PM all the time.
But forget about the designers, and even Isaac Mizrahi and his Hi Darlings. It is all about Iman and what she wears and how she wears it and what she says and how she says it.
I’d watch if the show was called The Fashion Show: Iman Speaks.
I.Love.Her. And She.Terrifies.Me.
Once again, if you haven’;t seen The Big C, well, you don’t know what you’re missing. Laura Linney is fabulous and this week we had a bit of a shock when one of the characters suddenly committed suicide.
I think I’ll miss you most of all, Marlene.
And what about Glee and the introduction of Hottie Boy Blaine, played by Hottie Boy Darren Criss? I loved that the show tackled the idea of anti-LGBTQ bullying in schools, and though some folks found the bully/Kurt locker room kiss to be a bit unreal, I found it to hit all too close to home [see Kurt’s Story Is My Story].
It’s funny, because Chris Colfer originally auditioned for the part of Artie, but after his audition Ryan Murphy created the role of Kurt for him. And he was meant to be a side character, with all the emphasis on other Glee-sters. But something about Kurt and his storyline have resonated with the viewers and every time he is featured, it is truly a remarkable episode.
I still get teary over his rendition of I Wanna Hold Your Hand.
Is anyone watching The Event?
It was meant to sort of fill the void left by Lost, though that can never happen, but it is quite interesting because the characters and storylines are interesting and it doesn’t spell everything out for the viewer all at once. It is unfolding slowly, though not so slowly that you might skip a few episodes or an entire season and still keep up.
What are you watching?