>Stand Up Please; One Of Our Straight Allies Has Passed


She was a housewife; she was a mother. She was raising her children like all mothers do. But then, in 1974, back in the days when being gay was considered a mental illness, Adele Starr’s son came out, and everything changed.

For the better.

See, even though, back in the 70s, and before that, and, sadly, still today, parents often blame themselves when a son or daughter comes out as gay, or even bisexual or transgender. There’s a lot of speculating about what was done ‘wrong’ to make their child so very different. But Adele Starr wasn’t having that.

Instead, Adele Starr founded a new group in Los Angeles, a support group, for parents of gay children, friends of gay people. Her group became known as PFLAG [Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays] and she was that group’s first national president.

Adele Starr, that mother for all gay men and women whose own mothers pushed them away, died last Friday night in Santa Monica at age ninety.

It was just two years after her son came out to her that Adele Starr founded the group, then known as Parent FLAG, and now as PFLAG, a gay rights and acceptance organization. And Adele worked hard for the group, even speaking on the steps of the US Capitol, way back in 1979, at a march for gay rights. Two years later she became PFLAG’s first national president, serving in that position until 1986. After that she continued to work for gay rights, marriage rights, equal rights.

We have our gay heroes, whose names we all remember, but sometimes we forget our straight allies who have marched with us and fought with us, along the way.

So, take just a moment, today, to bid farewell to Adele Starr and thank her for being a mother to those of us who may have lost ours the day we said those three words.

“Mom, I’m gay.”

Adele Starr Obituary



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7 responses to “>Stand Up Please; One Of Our Straight Allies Has Passed

  1. >I attended a PFLAG meeting when I was in college. I was still in the closet, and not quite ready to blow the door down. I remember it was incredible how the room was filled with gay students and some of their parents telling of their stories and supporting their children.It wasn't until years later that I finally came out to my parents, but PFLAG helped give me the confidence to do so.

  2. >Wow, she was a true hero. Thanks for telling her story

  3. >She really is a true hero. I heard something about this online late last night.

  4. >In 1974 I remember my mom trying to give my brother and I a hint about one of our aunts. 'Aunt A is coming to visit. Don't tell any jokes about female gym teachers…'Baby steps. 🙂

  5. >What a cool lady. Thanks for paying tribute where tribute is due.

  6. >Thank you for this history lesson of a very important person.

  7. >Bob, I can't beieve I missed this when i put up My queer news for the month. I'll have to add her passing in with January's post. Thanks for the reminder.

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