>Just a few short weeks after getting out of her 32nd try at rehab, Lindsay Lohan was charged with theft this week.
Hey, a girl’s gotta make a living. it isn’t like Hollywood is knocking at her door anymore.
Which is it? Lohan didn’t do it, or, Let’s Make A Deal?
Lohan mouthpiece, Shawn Chapman Holley, took her odd case all the way to CNN–because that’s how things are done in this Anything For Fame society–saying she believes the case is “defensible” but that she’s ready to “entertain” offers.
Holley: “Ms. Lohan maintains her innocence, and now that I’ve seen the police reports, I believe the case is entirely defensible. Having said that, we will entertain a discussion concerning a plea if it means no jail so that she can move forward with her recovery and her career.”
Uh huh, that’s what Lindsay gets from hiring a lawyer based on an after-midnight TV commercial.
The wacktress pleaded not guilty this week to felony theft charges for ALLEGEDLY stealing a $2,500 necklace from a Venice Beach jewelry store. Superior Court Judge Keith Schwartz revoked Lohan’s probation, released her on $40,000 bail and told her, “You are in a different situation now with a felony filed against you. If you violate the law, I will remand you and set no bail.”
That might be best for Lohan. all these little slaps on the wrist haven’t done anything to stop her from acting like a spoiled, self-indulgent, self-entitled, former movie wacktress.
I wonder where she gets it?
Now, and this causes me to giggle, Dina Lohan, wackjob mother of the wacktress, says that, ahem, Lindsay’ huge break at not being sent straight to prison for jewel theft is because, ahem, there’s a higher power at work here, and that her daughter is thankful for another chance.
Dina Lohan, said with a straight face–and it’s really straight because she just came from her bi-weekly Botox treatments: “All good. God has a big plan.”
Wow, Dina thinks god is up there working to help Lohan?
Well, that settles that argument. Dina is the more delusional Lohan.
Well, it seems the Spaceship Church, er, the Church of Scientology is ALLEGEDLY under federal investigation for human trafficking and using unpaid labor, in part due to work ALLEGEDLY performed on behalf of Scientology Queen Tom Cruise.
The charges surfaced in a profile of Oscar-winning writer-director Paul Haggis, who left Scientology in 2009 after 34 years following a disagreement with church officials.
Now, it also looks like a $100 million lawsuit was threatened, because, now, all of the sudden, it’s just Scientology, and not Miss Cruise being investigated.
I’ll say it again: it’s the church and not the lady being looked into.
i say all this because, after consulting with my checkbook, I see that i don’t have $100 million handy, so……
The 2009 investigation into abuse claims against the church, indicate the abuse charges relate to, in part, paying church members just $50 per week to meet _____’s demands, which included customizing a building and repairing boats and motorcycles.
Of course, Miss ______ released a statement denying the allegations and any knowledge of the investigation, and said the New Yorker “irresponsibly” used “discredited” sources to write a misleading article in an effort to attract attention.
They say things come in threes.
The number of pounds in the average Charlie Sheen brick of cocaine.
The number of hours until Lohan screws up again.
And now, former TV, um, for lack of a better word, star, Jaimie Pressly, of My Name Is Earl–and I’m fairly sure, having never seen the show, that she was not earl–has discovered the power of threes.
First up: She has pleaded not guilty to DUI–drunk driving–charges that resulted from a January 5th arrest. Pressly was stopped for a traffic violation, failed a field sobriety test and registered a BAC of 0.22–nearly three times the legal limit. Not guilty.
Second up: Shortly after her arrest, Pressly filed for divorce from Simran Singh, her husband of 16 months. Thirdly: After she filed for divorce, her baby daddy, not her husband, mind you, one DJ Eric Cubiche, filed charges to be granted full custody of their child, a 3-year-old son named Dezi.
Like I said, The Power Of The Threes.
And, well, looky here, in Pressly’s case, it might just be The Power Of The Fours.
She also faces close to $600,000 in tax liens from the IRS.
Sucks to be her, I’m guessing.
New Hollywood IT boy, Alex Pettyfer, is making quite the name for himself in Hollywood.
As a bitch.
Pettyfer–who opens this week in his first major film, I Am Number Four, which will no doubt soon be called This Is Number Two–already has the massive ego of, say, a Mel Gibson, or a Tom Cruise.
It seems that last year, at the tender age of 19, while working on Number Two, er, Four, Pettyfer discovered that his $250K paycheck was less than someone else’s on the set, most likely Timothy Olyphant.
Well, he cursed and Lohan’d and stomped his feet and pouted, and demanded a raise, because, you know, being 19 and being paid a quarter-of-a-million dollars is kind of an insult, because he’s Alex Pettyfer and all.
Well, DreamWorks, the studio behind # 2, er, 4, played all hard ball, and told the demanding diva No raise! Alex Pettyfer then refused to cash his checks.
Dumbass say what?
That’ll show ’em.
Now, Pettyfer has taken to blowing off marketing meetings and behaving like an irresponsible child, or Lindsay Lohan, on upcoming projects. In fact, with no starring role under his belt, except for the horridly titled Number Four, Alex has now decided his price to star in a film is $10 million.
Yeah, it looks like Dina Lohan is his momager, too.
I don’t watch The Apprentice because Trump’s hair frighten me, and because, let’s face it, it’s a stupid show. i mean, when the behind the scenes catfights are more interesting than what’s onscreen, well…..
Big-headed, and formerly huge-bodied, Star Jones is one of the “apprentices” on this next go round, and so is NeNe Leakes, whose main claim to fame is that she is a trashy real Housewives of Atlanta bitch.
And, ALLEGEDLY, these two divas do not get along.
In fact, it’s gotten so ugly that Star had to hire her own security detail.
To protect her from Leakes, or to keep her from going rabid dog on the craft services table?
A source close to Jones–and by source, I mean the beefy bodyguard who keeps her out of the All You Can Eat Buffets–says, “NeNe is coming unhinged.”
Coming unhinged? Oh child, that heifer was born unhinged.
NeNe has already ALLEGEDLY made La Toya Jackson cry–which is nearly impossible as La Toya had her tear ducts removed during a recent brow lift incident–and she even got in the face of singing legend Dionne Warwick–who called her personal henchman and niece, Whitney Houston into the fray.
But it’s her, um, roast beef with Star that is particularly nasty. The source–and by source, I mean the guy that trolls gay bars looking for Star’s next husband–says, “Clearly, she can’t get along with women, especially other black women. She is losing it.”
And NeNe isn’t exactly denying her, um, lack of love for the formerly gigantic Star, saying, “I’m not feeling Star Jones, I’m sorry. I gave her a chance when I first got there, I did. I wouldn’t spit on Star if she was on fire.”
And, it’s ALLEGEDLY the idea of being spat upon by NeNe that caused Star to hire her own private security guards. No matter what you hear, it isn’t because Star Jones, after several years on The View is essentially over.
Still, a friend of Star’s– and, naturally by friend, I mean someone on Star;’s payroll–says, “Star is a real celebrity, not some cheap reality star who is enjoying 15 minute of fame. She’s a lawyer and a lady.”
Yes, let us not forget, she’s Star Jones, and she’s a lawyer.