>I Ain’t One To Gossip, But…….

>I love it when two great actors unite in marriage, and two of my favorite greatest actors are John Travolta and his “wife” Kelly Preston.

I mean, c’mon, Travolta plays the role of heterosexual husband day in and day out, and Kelly plays the unsuspecting wife constantly. It’s brilliant.
Case in point: One night the Travoltas were out to dinner, and their waiter was one extremely hot young man. John ALLEGEDLY was so enamored of the hot server that he openly flirted with the young man while Kelly kept her head down, and fiddled with her dinner.
Now, to be fair, this story comes to us from that bastion of journalistic integrity, The National Enquirer, but, let us remember, they broke the John Edwards Cheating Douchebag story.
Anyway, meanwhile back at Hot Waiter Restaurant, when Johnny discovered the Hot Young Man was trying to make it in Hollywood–sidenote: Wow! A waiter in Hollywood who wants to be an actor? Who knew?–Travolta instantly turned on all his acting charms.
A source–and by source I mean another Hot Young Waiter Who Also Wants To Act But Didn’t Get The Travolta Table–says, “When John learned his studly server was an aspiring actor, he asked what projects he’d worked on, who represented him, etc. – and then flashed that award-winning smile and asked, ‘Could you give me your phone number? I might be able to help you out’. The waiter told me it really bothered him that Kelly never even looked up at him — not once!”
Somebody give that woman the damned Oscar already!

Well, wonders may never cease.
It seems that Charlie Sheen’s home rehab might actually be working, as the Party Boy, well, Old Party Boy, passed two drug tests since he began his in-home rehab.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that for every week he stays out of work he loses a couple of million dollars. I mean, think how much coke and how many whores that could buy!
A source–and by source I mean coke-whore on Charlie’s payroll–says, “He is at home now, and those close to him are trying to get him to enter a facility. But he doesn’t think he has a problem.”
And it seems as if Coke Whore Source might be right. Sheen actually gave an anti-drug speech last week to the UCLA baseball team and got a standing ovation. His advice? “Stay off the crack. Drink a chocolate milk.”
Oh yeah, he’s recovering.

And, as evidence of his, ahem, recovery, we have Charlie Sheen’s recent call into ‘The Dan Patrick Show’ where he gave an eight-minute interview to set the record straight about his Two and a Half Men hiatus and various reports surrounding his tumultuous life. Sheen started off by thanking his parents….Oh? he didn’t? Well, certainly he thanked his team of ex-wives? No? Not them either? So, who exactly did Charlie Sheen thank for making him see the like at the end of the coke spoon?

Charlie Sheen: “People need to understand how supremely grateful I am that someone stepped in here. I don’t want to say who, but you know, basically, Viacom showed up at my house and said, ‘Dude, it’s getting really obvious, and we’re really worried about you. We don’t give a rat’s tooey about the show, we care about your health.’ So, they came in and just man to man and said, ‘We have to shut it down.'”
God Bless Viacom!
But then Crazy Charlie came out, and he asked Patrick to notify him if Lindsay Lohan was ever secured as a guest for the show. “I’ve got some things I’d recommend she’d consider….Work on your impulse control. Just try to think things through a little bit before you do ’em.”
Wow, how to get sober advice from Charlie Sheen! i mean, it’s worked for him, he’s been sob er for…..hold on, let me look at my watch. About thirty minutes.
I think his advice was just Charlie Code for: Come party with me!

Miley Cyrus AKA Lindsay Lohan 2.0, is ALLEGEDLY furious that her mullet-wearing-country-music- singin’ daddy, Billy Ray, did an interview with GQ and bashed the Disney show, Anna Dakota….Sammy Wyoming….Hannah Montana!…that made both of them mega-rich.

She was also peeved that Daddy Billy said he was “scared” for his daughter’s well-being.
Miley Lohan, or Lindsay Cyrus, take your pick, has spouted off, saying she wants Daddy Billy to STFU and stop acting like that other infamous stage dad.
A friend of the Disney star–and by friend I mean dealer and pimp–says, “To say Miley is angry is an understatement. She’s furious that her own flesh and blood would make a private matter so public. Who does he think he is, Michael Lohan?”
Now, it does seem odd that Daddy Billy is bashing the show, when he co-starred on the show that helped to semi-revive his achy-breaky career. And, well, to piss of your daughter, who could buy and sell you 100 times over is also silly.
But, it’s sad that Miley Cyrus is turning into the new Lindsay Lohan when the old Lindsay Lohan is still doing such a bang-up job.

Don’t you just love “reality” TV?
I mean, you go on one of those MTV shows, The Jersey Hills, or somesuch nonsense, and make a name for yourself as the “reality” douchebag, and then place the blame for all your troubles on that show, while you go on another reality show.

That’s what one Jason Wahler, star of something called Laguna Shores, or The Hills Have Douchebags, is doing. Wahler says his life quickly turned from one of fame on the small screen to one fueled by a dangerous substance addiction.
And he blames the show.
He ALLEGEDLY became an alcoholic at age eighteen, shortly after his first Reality Bites took off, saying, “I would drink anywhere from five to 20 vodka drinks a night. I couldn’t stop.”
He didn’t even stop after seven…….SEVEN…..trips to rehab and numerous alcohol-related arrests: “Rock bottom was when I saw what my addiction was doing to my family. I just didn’t want it anymore.”
So, what does a reality show whore do to get sober? Move away and enter a private rehab? Stop associating with the friends and lifestyle that feed your addiction?
Nope. You head straight to another reality show, Celebrity Rehab.

More news about the Big O.
And it ain’t pretty.
Haitian filmmaker Reginald Chevalier claims he had a four month live-in relationship with the talk shOw hOst in the early 1980’s, but that it ended abruptly after he returned to their Chicago condo to find the locks had been changed.

And Steadman was the new beard.
Chevalier says: “When I returned to the Water Tower condo, my key wouldn’t work. The concierge informed me that the locks had been changed. Oprah had left a box for me filled with all my belongings. On a yellow envelope she had written: ‘Sorry, things aren’t working between us. Oprah Winfrey.’ That was it. No phone call. No good-bye. Nothing. She was as cold as ice.”
She signed it Oprah Winfrey? Did she think maybe he was boinking another Oprah in the same building? And how did he snag a relationship with the budding, and blubbering, tycoon?
It seems he was invited onto the show as a Billy Dee Williams-lookalike on a segment about celebrity look-alikes. And maybe Oprah, who has long wanted to be Diana Ross, wanted her own Billy Dee doppelganger.
Oh, O.
I knew you was cold!


Filed under Charlie Sheen, Gossip, Jason Wahler, John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Miley Cyrus, Oprah Winfrey

4 responses to “>I Ain’t One To Gossip, But…….

  1. >Ohm, take down the banner! It looks as though you support her!Besides, it should read "Ready to serve….unless I can make more money whoring for the media!"

  2. >Disney needs to stop the whole Disney princess thing. With animation and computer wizardry – there is no need for live action shows for children and the exploitation of them that goes along with it.

  3. >That banner is hilarious! I love it so much I want to redo my blog banner so I could use a smaller version of it as a billboard in the background if the text is readable.And that was funny when Charlie Sheen gave advice to Lindsay Lohan about controlling her urges. It's like Lindsay giving driving lessons to anyone.

  4. Joy

    >Good ones again. Interesting scoop on Oprah!

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