Category Archives: Mel Gibson

>I Didn’t Say It……

>Mel Gibson, on pleading “no contest” to ALLEGEDLY beating on Oksana Grigorieva:

“I was allowed to end the case and still maintain my innocence. It’s called a West plea and it’s not something that prosecutors normally allow. But in my case, the prosecutors and the judge agreed that it was the right thing to do. I could have continued to fight this for years and it probably would have come out fine. But I ended it for my children and my family. This was going to be such a circus. You don’t drag other people in your life through this sewer needlessly, so I’ll take the hit and move on.”

Guess what, Melvin?
You can spin this any way you want, but ‘no contest’ means guilty. it means you don’t want to fight the charges and waste the court’s time.
It doesn’t maintain innocence.
You know what does maintain innocence?
Being innocent.

David Koch, on Donald Trump’s “presidential” aspirations:

“Donald Trump is exposing himself to a lot of attacks. As much as I like Donald, he’s sort of asking for it….Donald’s political positions over the last 10 years have been highly variable and unusual. He’s a wonderful guy, but I don’t think he should run for office….At some point I think he’s going to drop out of the race when he realizes that he’s really not qualified to be President.”

Well, of course David Koch doesn’t want Donald Trump to run.
He can’t “buy” Donald Trump as easily as he bought, say, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker.

Cher, on being proud of her son Chaz’ transition from female to male: 

“I admire my son Chaz’s courage for sharing his personal journey. Most important to me is that he is very happy. That’s what I care about the most. He has my love and support.”

Cher got a lot of grief over not being instantly accepting of Chaz coming out.
And then she got the same treatment when Chaz announced he would be transitioning. But what we all need to realize that, as hard as it is for some of us to comprehend transitioning, it is doubly hard, or even harder, for a parent to understand.
And I think her struggle to understand all this has helped many people struggle to understand gender reassignment. 

Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips, on his belief that Obama only killed bin Laden to help his reelection:

“Osama’s body should have not been immediately buried. We should have told everyone that the body was wrapped in pig fat before burial. Why? It is not just the visceral insult. It is sending a message. Contrary to what the politically correct say, Osama does represent the mainstream of Islam. By defiling the body, we say that you are not getting your 72 virgins. This should be the policy we have with every Islamic terrorist we capture. If you die, we are going to deny you paradise. If we capture you, we are going to feed you nothing but pork until you talk.”

Right, you wingnut. It sends the message to bin Laden followers, and any terrorist group, to double their efforts at retaliation.
Let’s treat people like animals and then cry foul when they do the same to us.
i think Judson Phillips is more upset that, in the same week that Obama took down the terrorist, he also proved….AGAIN…..that he is an American citizen.
Take that, Teabagging asshats.

Minnesota Congressman, and Democrat, Steve Simon, speaking to anti-gays about the proposed gay marriage ban in his state:

“Ask yourself, if it’s true that sex orientation is innate, is God-given, then what does it mean to the moral force of your argument? To put it in the vernacular, what I would ask is, ‘How many more people does God have to create before we ask ourselves whether or not God actually wants them around? How many gay people does God have to create before we ask ourselves whether the living of their lives the way they wish as long as they don’t harm others is Godly, holy, happy, glorious. thing.’ I’ve answered that for myself. I don’t think everyone’s answered that for themselves. I’m comfortable with a society and tradition that bends toward justice, fairness, wholeness, openness, compassion…”

Beautifully said.
Simply put.
And yet it fell on deaf ears, as the GOP majority voted to pass a gay marriage ban.

Sarah Palin, on the killing of Osama bin Laden, and who gets credit for it:

“Yesterday was a testament to the military’s dedication in relentlessly hunting down an enemy through many years of war. And we thank our president, we thank President Bush for having made the right calls to set up this victory.”

Someone needs to get a calender and remember that our president is Barack Obama.
Someone needs to be told that w once said capturing, or even killing, bin Laden was not a priority.
Someone needs to be told that it was President Obama who gave the orders to take the terrorist down.
Failing that, someone needs to shut her moose hole.

Jon Stewart, on Obama’s, and Seth Meyer’s tribute to Trump:

“I’m watching this Apprentice episode…I’m watching it to see if Obama and Seth Meyer’s absolute shellacking of Donald Trump at the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday had left a visible mark. Even though the episode had been taped prior to the Correspondents’ Dinner, the demolition of Trump at the Correspondents’ Dinner was so thorough I thought it might actually supersede the rules of dimensional time and space and leave a mark on future episodes of The Apprentice.”

Poor Donald.
He loves the attention, but not at the expense of his hair, his “reality” show, or his ego. 

Has-been senator, Rick Santorum, offering frothy mix praise to Obama:

“Barack Obama, who certainly is not someone I would say is known for fighting great causes in defense of American freedom, but I will give him credit in this, that he remained vigilant in going after Osama bin Laden. We have to continue to be vigilant in going after this enemy, when we’ve seen, if anything from this administration, is a lack of leadership, an indecisiveness, a confusion in dealing with the troubles that have erupted, particularly in the Middle East during this presidency. We’ve seen a lack of conviction, a lack of resolve. Maybe, again, that will change as a result of this success over the weekend.”

See what he does there?
A teaspoon of praise surrounded by a bashing.
The GOP can’t even be bothered to admit that, under the Barack Obama administration, Osama bin Laden was taken out. In just over two years.

Bryan Fischer, asshat and racist spokesmoron of the American Family Association, on Obama ordering the killing of bin Laden:

“You have just invited the entire Islamic world to focus all of their vitriol, all of their hatred, all of their animosity, directly on YOU.”

I can’t help but think that this wingnut might be singing a different tune altogether, had it been a different president who ordered the killing.
GOP president.
A white president.
He cannot hide his inherent racism, and, well, lately, he doesn’t even seem to be trying.

Donald Trump, comparing gay marriage to a putter:

“It’s like in golf. A lot of people — I don’t want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It’s weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can’t sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”

And your fabulous friends think you’re an asshat.
A hair-covered asshat, who has flip-flopped on this issue, going from before for Civil Unions to being utterly against them.
Anything to get attention, eh Rat’s Nest?

Rush Limbaugh, praising…PRAISING….the president:

“We need to open the program today by congratulating President Obama. President Obama has done something extremely effective, and when he does, this needs to be pointed out….Our military wanted to go in there and just scorch the earth…but President Obama single-handedly understood what was at stake here. He alone understood the need to get DNA to prove the death…it was President Obama single-handedly and alone who came up with the strategy that brought about the effective assassination of Osama bin Laden, thank God for President Obama.”

Who’da thunk a gasbag like Limbaugh would have ever said anything resembling praise of Obama?
So, for today, just for today, I’ll give him props for not goosestepping along with the Palin-Santorum-Cantor GOP asshats.

Donald Trump, again, on his White House Correspondents Dinner Roasting:

“I didn’t know that I’d be virtually the sole focus. I guess when you’re leading in the polls that sort of thing tends to happen. You raise to a certain level in the polls and boy does the world come after you. But I was certainly in a certain way having a good time listening. I don’t think the American people are having a good time with $5 gas. I was thinking to myself as they were doing this, ‘You know, the American people are really suffering and we’re all having fun at a gala. I thought Seth Meyers — his delivery frankly was not good. He’s a stutterer.”

First off, asshat, you aren’t leading in the polls. Well, maybe against other GOP’ers, but that speaks volumes about their chances in 2012.
Second off, asshat, Americans might be worried about $5 a gallon gas, but so are you. The difference is, you’re worried about how you can get in on those massive oil company profits and we’re worrying about getting to work without going broke.
Third off, asshat, you are going to critique a comedian? You, who can’t even take a joke without flaring your nostrils and flipping your wig?
Fourth off, asshat.
That’s all.

GLAAD president, Jarrett Barrios, on joining the NAACP in demanding that Sally Kern resign following her blatantly racist remarks:

“Given her long and well-documented history of extreme bias towards minorities, this apology means nothing. Republicans and Democrats alike agree that the kind of blatant bigotry from an elected official like Sally Kern has no place in our public sphere. Sally Kern should resign immediately.”

She won’t. She didn’t
She uttered the standard Non-apology-apology and then went back to business as usual.
Until she steps in it again.
Hopefully the people of Oklahoma are growing tired of her racist and homophobic rants and will remove her from office permanently come election time.

Steven Soderbergh, on making a movie with Channing Tatum playing a male stripper, based on Tatum’s own early career as a male stripper:

“When Channing talked to me about this, I thought it was one of the best ideas I’d ever heard for a movie,” Soderbergh said in a statement. “I said I wanted in immediately. It’s sexy, funny and shocking. We’re using Saturday Night Fever as our model, so hopefully we’re on the right track.”

I might be getting in line for this one soon.
Channing Tatum.
Channing Tatum.
‘Nuff said. 

Larry Kramer, on his gay identity:

“I am a gay person before I’m anything else. I’m a gay person before I’m a white person, before I’m a Jew, before I’m a writer, before I’m American, anything. That is my most identifying characteristic and I don’t find many people who would say that. The polls say the same thing: People do not identify themselves as gay. And that’s too bad. In fact, it’s tragic. It will prevent us from ever having what we deserve, I believe.”

For once, I’m not sure I agree with Kramer.
I identify as a human being first and foremost, which helps me to understand that we are all the same, because we are all human beings.
Then I identify as male. Gay male, White gay male.
Fabulous white gay male.
Who can, and will, still fight for the LGBT community and equality.

Mel Gibson, again, on the future of his “acting” career:

“I’m beyond that, way beyond that. The whole experience has been most unfortunate. And so it’s not without all the downside. I could easily not act again. It’s not a problem. I’m going to do something now because I want to do it and because it’s fun. I’ve already pulled another job and it’s going to be fun.”

Is the “something fun” something that weill keep you out of the public eye?
Will it keep you from drinking and driving?
Will it keep you from making public racist-homophobic-misogynistiic rants?
Will it keep you from spousal battery?
If so, then I’m all for it.



Filed under Bryan Fischer, Cher, David Koch, Donald Trump, Jarrett Barrios, Jon Stewart, Judson Phillips, Larry Kramer, Mel Gibson, Rick Santorum, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Steve Simon, Steven Soderbergh

>I Didn’t Say It……..

>Christina Aguilera, on her Superbowl/National Anthem flub:

“I took in the moment a little bit too much. Shoot me for appreciating the moment but here I am at the Super Bowl…singing for a team and in front of the world. And remembering what it was like to be that young and look where I made it now. {but] that night I knew, I just made myself a Trivial Pursuit question…In 2011 what female singer, ya know, flubbed the lyrics. It’s just insane. But I have a really good laugh about it and you get over things. You get back up again and you just prove to yourself and to everyone you’re that much stronger.”

This makes me wonder if she’s talking about the ‘flub,’ or her ALLEGED new fondness for the drink. I mean, I loves me some Christina, but she’s looking a little vodka-bloated lately.

Kara DioGuardi, on quitting, or being fired from, ‘American Idol’:

“I called them after I saw reports about the show and they said now that Ellen is leaving it’s put everything up in the air because now we need to replace two people so we don’t know what’s going on. So I asked if I was fired and they said “no,” so I said well last week we were talking about auditions, am I definitely doing the show? And they said, “We can’t say that for sure but you’re definitely not fired.” I thought I’m not going to hang around and wait to see what happens, so I sent them a letter asking them to release me from their contract which they would not do until they sorted it all out. I think the reality is that the panel was not set up until the very end.”

Um, Kara, when you ask someone if you are working, and they respond with a “We can’t say that for sure….” Honey, you’re fired. M’kay?

Rachel Maddow, on coming out, especially for people in the news business:

“I’m sure other people in the business have considered reasons why they’re doing what they’re doing, but I do think that if you’re gay you have a responsibility to come out.”

I agree completely.
Staying closeted, for whatever reason, whether you want to protect your privacy, or keep your private life private, or however you phrase it, still smacks of a little self-loathing and shame to me.
Plus, the more people that come out, the more people will come to realize that being gay isn’t so different from being straight.
Except for that whole fabulousness part. 

Larry Kramer, on his ‘problem’ with the younger generation of gay men:

“I don’t know why so many gay men don’t want to know their history. I don’t know why they turned their back on the older generation as if they don’t want to have anything to do with them. I would like us to get beyond that….Sometimes when I go to schools, kids say that they’re taught to be non-confrontational or non-participatory now, almost like it’s not cool to have opinions and express them, which is sad. I hope we’re coming out of all that.” 

You can’t ever know where you’re going, if you don’t know where you’ve been, and who fought for you to be right where you are.
We learn about the history of the world, the history of America, we need to know the history of gay people, and how they struggled and fought and lived and died so we could be here today. 

Kelly McGillis, on her public coming out:

“Fundamentally, I was just tired of lying about who I am. I’ve reached a point where my kids are grown, they’re out of the house, they no longer have to be concerned that their friends, their friends’ families, will put them in compromising emotional situations because of my sexual preference. That was a big concern of mine because, unfortunately, a lot of people are not very tolerant. I got to a certain age and I didn’t give a s— anymore.” 

This is the shame I was talking about. By staying closeted “for her kids” Kelly McGillis fed into that mythology that being gay is something scary or bad or different.
And do not get me started on her calling being gay her ‘preference’.
Just proves that even gay people can say idiotic things.
Which proves we are more like straight people that many straight people think.
Except, again, for that whole fabulousness part. 

Rick Santorum, on denying gay rights, er, privileges:

“They have the right to be able to — employment. I don’t know what you mean by rights. What I’m talking about are privileges. Privileges of marriage, privileges of government benefits is a different thing than basic rights to live their lives as they well should and can as free Americans.” 

So, Mister Frothy Mix, things we should be happy with less-than.
See, people like Santorum think of the LGBT community as a ‘they,’ and he believes that that ‘they’ shouldn’t be treated like the rest of  ‘us’.
Think again you sanctimonious prig. 

Mel Gibson, on his bad image as a homophobe, anti-Semite, misogynist:

“I’ve never treated anyone badly or in a discriminatory way based on their gender, race, religion or sexuality — period. I don’t blame some people for thinking that though, from the garbage they heard on those leaked tapes, which have been edited. You have to put it all in the proper context of being in an irrationally, heated discussion at the height of a breakdown, trying to get out of a really unhealthy relationship. It’s one terribly, awful moment in time, said to one person, in the span of one day and doesn’t represent what I truly believe or how I’ve treated people my entire life.” 

Yeah, I know he’s talking about his taped telephone rants, but, um, Melvin? You delusional fuck?
Do you not remember your anti-Semitic rant when you were arrested for being a boozehound?
Do you not remember calling a female office ‘sugar tits’?
You can’t rewrite history, jackass.
You’re an anti-Semitic, misogynistic, homophobe.
Deal with it. 

GaGa, on calling herself a loser in her new HBO special:

“Well, in that moment I was very excited and nervous. That is a huge benchmark moment in my life. I’m 25 years old. I was asked to play Madison Square Garden. Sold out 5 nights and quite frankly it’s very overwhelming. Do I feel like a loser sometimes? Yes, of course I do. We all feel like losers sometimes.” 

Oh, yes, I’m sure when you have teams of minions carrying you around in an egg, or ask Cher to hold your meat purse, you feel like a loser.
And I’m sure when millions line up to see you in concert you feel like a dork.
Pity? Party of one. 

Tracy Morgan, on Charlie Sheen:

“Charlie Sheen ain’t funny to me. I think that’s a train wreck and I feel bad for his two little kids because they’re the bodies being pulled out of the train wreck. What’s going to happen to them? But everybody thinks it’s a joke….While this a–hole is going on stage making a fool of himself his kids are going to suffer and don’t even know it because this is a cycle of abuse.” 

Tracy Morgan is kind of a nut-job, too.
So, when a nut-job calls you out for being crazy, maybe you ought to step away from the crack pipe, and the whores, and listen. 

Oklahoma’s gun-totin’, wingnut, homophobe, racist, Sally Kern, on banning affirmative action:

“We have a high percentage of blacks in prison and that’s tragic, but are they in prison just because they are black or because they don’t want to study as hard in school? I’ve taught school, and I saw a lot of people of color who didn’t study hard because they said the government would take care of them.”

She doesn’t even try to hide the fact that she’s a racist bitch.
Um, Sally, i know a lot of white folks who didn’t study in school either, and I’m thinking you’re probably one of them. 

Lawrence O’Donnell, on why he invited looney-tunes Birther, Orly Taitz, on his show, right before he kicked her off:

“She’s crazy. I invited a crazy person on the show to see if a crazy person faced with the thing that the crazy person was trying to get for the two and a half years could say something responsive, something human to the document that was released today.” 

Now, this falls under the category of “Told You So.”
I like O’Donnell, but did he really think a wingnut lunatic like Taitz would ever cop to being wrong?
It’s the new GOP model, You lie and when you get called out on your lie you just keep talking.
Palin, Gingrich, Bachmann, and Trump are all doing it.


Filed under Christina Aguilera, Kara Dioguardi, Kelly McGillis, Lady GaGa, Larry Kramer, Lawrence O'Donnell, Mel Gibson, Rachel Maddow, Rick Santorum, Tracy Morgan

>I Ain’t One To Gossip, But……..


Usually when people win something, a cameraman stops them and asks how they’re going to celebrate the big win, and they say something about going to Disneyworld.
Well, ‘Survivor: Nicaragua’ winner Judson Birza, who was dubbed Fabio for his hair and, perhaps his lack of smarts, should have taken that advice. See, rather than riding the Matterhorn in celebration, Birza went skateboarding in the streets of Santa Monica, which is illegal.

Bad enough, but then he was discovered to be in possession of a, ahem, controlled substance, and I’m fairly certain it wasn’t an E-ticket–I’m showing my age there, show of hands of those who remember the E-tickets at Disneyland?
But then, in addition to being busted for being too old to be illegally skateboarding in Santa Monica, and for possessing some, um, narcotic, or some such, he was also nailed for an unrelated DUI warrant and a probation violation.
When it rains, it pours, and not just in Nicaragua.
Birza was being held on $37,000 bail.
Lucky for him he just won a million bucks, something tells me he’s gonna need it.

You don’t mess with Howard Stern, because he ain’t playin’.

Shock jock, which, for me, has a very different meaning than someone who works in radio, Howard Stern is accusing late-night talk show host, and whiner, and hack, Jay Leno of ripping off his material. Stern took his accusations to Piers Morgan’s CNN show, and announced, “Jay is insane. And Jay is a crook. And the world knows exactly what he’s up to. He steals a tremendous amount of material.”
Big surprise, he stole Conan’s job.
And this isn’t the first time Stern has gone after Leno; in fact, Stern says, “Just the mere mention of Jay Leno’s name makes me to want to vomit,” calling the ‘Tonight Show’ host, “a f**king con man, rip-off artist, no idea motherf**ker*.”
Hmmm, Howard? How do you really feel?
In 2009, Stern also accused Leno of stealing one of his sketch ideas outright. It seems that both hosts invited a chicken–and yes, i mean an actual bird–on their shows to predict football wins for the following week. Stern was less than pleased, saying, “This must be a giant ‘Punk’d’ on me. This guy’s ripped off like ten major things from my show. But the chicken thing we did for years.”
And if you know Howard, like I know Howard, he isn’t going to let this go; it’s good for ratings to keep us this feud, but he is even more annoyed that anyone actually watches Leno: “I don’t know how he’s beaten David Letterman in the ratings. It’s beyond my comprehension. America must be filled with morons who at night lay in bed — the ones who are watching him, they must be in a coma.”
Or dead.
Just sayin’.

Wow, an unplanned, unscheduled trainwreck is one thing, but to bring it back and try to recreate it’s trainwreckedness–i know, not  a word–is another.

LOGO is bringing back that awful, so awful I watch every week to see how really awful it is, not-quite-so-real reality show, The A List.
Apparently the hijinks, and the lowjinks, will return in the fall of 2011 because it ranks as second most-watched series in Logo’s history.
What? I thought it was the Buffy reruns….or the QAF reruns….or the Noah’s Arc reruns…..or the….well, you get the idea.
There will be eleven new, 1-hour episodes picking up right where last season’s crazy left off. We’ll be subjected once again to Reichen and Rodiney’s “relationship,” Austin’s attempts to stir the pot and drink himself more stupid than ever, and Ryan and his husband’s struggle to adopt a child.
Wow. Color me scared.
But color me there.
I do love a trainwreck where no one actually gets hurt.

Oh Christina.
What up girrrrrl?

According to sources–and by sources I mean the team that stuffs Christina into her wardrobe–the songbird, and recent Golden Globe nominee, over-imbibed a little ‘The Hurt Locker’ star Jeremy Renner’s 40th birthday party and gave him a rather, um, unwelcome surprise.
After the party, which was supposedly a celeb-fest, Renner went upstairs to his bedroom and he found the ‘Burlesque’ star sleeping it off in his bed.
According to another source–and by source, I mean the team that keeps the press filled with stories of Renner’s ALLEGED non-gayness–Renner turned the Golden Globes into a Christina storytelling marathon, telling his tablemates: “I run up and open the door and I’m like, ‘Um, hi. What are you doing?’ She just starts slurring. Her boyfriend was rubbing her back. Who comes to someone’s birthday party that they don’t know and gets in their bed? My parents were there!”
Uh oh, a high celeb party with mommy and daddy?
Another source–and by source, I mean bartender–said Christina “acted like a fool. Her boyfriend was shushing her and telling her to go to sleep.”
Renner’s rep says of the incident, “[Christina] was enjoying herself, but she wasn’t in his bed.”
Oh, so she slept it off on the bathroom floor like I used to do?

Julie Newmar was the first.
Michelle Pfieffer was next.
Halle Berry was the worst.

Now, in the new Batman movie, Anne Hathaway is set to don the claws as the new Catwoman, and I’m thinking this is purrfect.
Sorry. Couldn’t resist.
Batman: The Dark Knight Rises director, Christopher Nolan, announced that Hathaway will join Tom Hardy and Christian Bale in his latest ‘Batman’ film: “I am thrilled to have the opportunity to work with Anne Hathaway, who will be a fantastic addition to our ensemble as we complete our story.”

Tom Hardy, hunk-a-licious Tom Hardy, who also appeared in Nolan’s last film, Inception, will play Batman’s nemesis Bane, but Anne Hathaway was always on Nolan’s shortlist of actresses–which included Jessica Biel [seriously?] and Keira Knightley–as Catwoman.

While we have seen our Catwoman’s in several Batman films, this is only the second time Bane will appear in the franchise. The character was last seen as Poison Ivy’s muscleman in Batman & Robin in 1997.
Hmm, Anne Hathaway? I’m there.
Christian Bale and Tom Hardy? I’m there and happy as a lark.

Elton John and David Furnish seemingly have everything.
Luxury. Each other. A fabulous life. And a new baby boy.

But, still, Elton is unfulfilled. but he doesn’t long for more jewel-encrusted glasses or wackaddoodle suits. What Elton wants, more than anything, is for gay couples to have the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts.
At a recent fundraiser to overturn Proposition 8, new Daddy Elton had some choice words for those who oppose gay marriage: “I think I have it all. I have a wonderful career, a wonderful life. I have my health, I have a partner of 17 years, and now I have a son. I don’t have everything because I don’t have the respect of people like the church or like politicians who tell me that I’m not worthy, that I’m lesser because I’m gay, well f**k you!”
Elton then proceeded to put his money where his mouth is, and performed for the crowd, helping to raise more than $3 million dollars to fight hate, but he was still angry, and voiced his fury over the disparity between his rights and those of other parents.
“Here I am sitting with a wedding ring and I’m with my partner and we have a son, but we couldn’t get married. We have a right to be recognized as a human being. We have to fight the good fight. And we will win.”
Amen, Elton.

And, speaking of gay couples, though a couple not as happy as Elton and David, Melissa Etheridge revealed that she is dating Linda Wallem, the creator of Nurse Jackie, and Melissa’s ex-girlfriend Tammy Lynn Michaels is none too happy about it.
Someone needs to build a bridge. 

While Etheridge and Wallem have been best friends for years–Wallem even served as “Best Man” at Michaels and Etheridge’s wedding in 2003–they did not become a couple until a few months after Etheridge and Michaels split, appearing in public for the first time last August.
That’s right. Melissa and Tammy Lynn split up almost a year ago, and Melissa began dating Linda over the summer, but Tammy Lynn is not happy, and not silent, about it.
Tammy Lynn has a blog, and writes what many consider to be long, rambling ‘poems’ where she rips into Etheridge’s new relationship, and even accused Etheridge of cheating on her during their marriage–which ended officially in April 2010.

In one such poem, Tammy Lynn says, “i moved out November 23rd 2009 / she said it would help / i was convinced it would / too and i trusted there was / no one else / i didn’t know / there was someone moving in / as i was moving out.”
She continues, “three weeks later a box of new toys / was delivered and her assistant brought / it to my rental house as a mistake / i opened it / and that’s when i felt something was up / i called her / “i have your new d***s on my kitchen counter?”
Michaels also says that she didn’t realize their split was final until she listened to Etheridge’s new album, “I understood / oh / you don’t want to work it out / oh you already have someone in the wings / oh you already have pined for another / oh you are done here.”
She also goes on to attack the reported relationship in PEOPLE, “since april of 09? Mmm / one of my little sweet peas told me otherwise much / earlier than that, Pooper magazine / they should have shut the bedroom door.”
Etheridge’s response to her ex’s poem?
“I do not comment on haikus.”
Oh, Cameron, you say the most shocking things.
Now she’s telling the story of her days as a bad-assed girl living in “the LBC”–Long Beach California.
And she talks of her high school daze, where she distinctly remembers one student, Snoop Dogg: “He was very tall and skinny, wore lots of ponytails on his head. And I’m pretty sure I bought weed from him — I had to have.”
Cameron Diaz? Buying weed?
In high school?
Yeah, I think what she actually means is that she bought weed from Snoop just the other day, behind a Starbucks on La Cienega.
Well, well, Mel.
Looks like prosecutors are ready to file criminal charges against Mel Gibson.

Anti-Semite, homophobe, misogynist, religious wingnut.

Gibson’s lawyer, Blair Berk, ALLEGEDLY met with LA Deputy District Attorney John Lynch for nearly two hours, reportedly attempting to convince authorities not to prosecute Gibson. i imagine there was some begging, the offer of free tickets to Gibson movies for life, and the presentation of a boxed set of Mel Gibson’s best work; and by best work, I mean his vicious telephone rants and the tapes of him talking to sugar tits the first time he was arrested.
Quite the package.

Still, the pleadings seemed to have fallen on deaf ears, and sources–and by sources I mean everyone Gibson has ever said anything racist or bigoted about–say Melvin will almost definitely be charged. The charges stem from Gibson hitting ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, mother of his 14-month-old daughter, Lucia, and he will be charged with either a misdemeanor or a felony.
Oh, let’s do the world a service and make it a felony? Gibson could face up to four years in prison; a misdemeanor could land him up to a year.I like the idea of four Mel-free years.
Melvin, however, will not go quietly. His team has subpoenaed Grigorieva’s ex-bodyguard, Kristian Herzog, who was present at nearly all of Grigorieva’s meetings with her lawyers, only he isn’t bound by attorney-client privilege.
Still, the District Attorney has a very strong case, there is a lot of information that the public and Mel Gibson are unaware that the DA has, such as Gibson’s own court testimony about the alleged abuse: “I slapped Oksana one time with an open hand in an attempt to bring her back to reality. I did not slap her hard, I was just trying to shock her so that she would stop screaming, continuing shaking Lucia back and forth.”
Gibson maintains he never hit Grigorieva with a closed fist. “I did not ever punch her in the face or in the temple or anywhere else, not then or at any other time.”
He just slapped her while she was holding a baby.



Filed under Anne Hathaway, Cameron Diaz, Christina Aguilera, Elton John, Howard Stern, Judson Birza, Mel Gibson, Melissa Etheridge, The A-List, Tom Hardy

>I Ain’t One To Gossip, But……Mugshot Edition

>Charlie Sheen is at it again.

While he is known as a Hollywood bad boy, it was his recent activities in New York City that have everyone buzzing.
Sheen, who was in town with exwife Denise Richards and their daughters Sam and Lola, ALLEGEDLY trashed his suite at The Plaza Hotel one night this week when he realized his wallet was missing. The ensuing ruckus and fuss lead security to Sheen’s room.
And when the authorities did arrive, at around 2 AM Tuesday morning, they discovered a naked and drunk Charlie Sheen in a badly damaged room. Police described Sheen as “emotionally disturbed” when they found him.
He was subsequently admitted to New York Hospital, accompanied by his exwife.
Adding a more salacious note to this story, if that’s possible, a source–and by source I mean hotel hooker–claims that Sheen was, ahem, entertaining an escort in his room at the time of the disturbance. The source says: “She was fearing for her life and was naked. Charlie was incoherent but started screaming slurs at the cops.”
Sheen, who checked himself into rehab as a “preventative measure” in early 2010, also ALLEGEDLY accepted the treatment in lieu of jail time for brandishing a knife at former wife, Brooke Mueller, just last December.
Someone needs to be locked up this time.
Mel Gibson is thinking of another Apology Tour, like the one he took after his DUI arrest, and anti-Semitic rant of a few years back.
This seems to be the result of the fact that the cast and crew of ‘The Hangover 2’ wanted nothing to do with Mel Gibson, who was set to cameo in the film, and his part was subsequently cut out.
So, seeing that his wallet may now be taking a hit, sources–and by sources, I mean the people who keep his mouth taped shut and all phones out of his reach–are saying that Melvin will do a sit-down interview and apologize again for being a douchebag: “Since the second the tapes were released, every media outlet has been contacting Mel’s people asking for an interview. Now, after months of silence, Mel has finally realized if he doesn’t say something really soon it might be too late. The days of burying his head in the sand hoping this whole ugly mess goes away are over.”
So, who should Melvin sit down with? Oprah? Hmm, his misogyny won’t play well with her audience. Barbara Walters? Hmm, the fact that she’s Jewish might be an obstacle. Jay Leno? Hmm, talking to a comic would not be funny.

Melvin, however, seems intent on talking to a man, since his interview with Diane Sawyer after his anti-Semitic didn’t go so well for him. It seems that gives Matt Lauer a leg up, and Lauer is quite the media whore so he may just sell his soul to interview Gibson.

Oh, Lindsay! Even when it looks like it’s going good for you, it really isn’t.
One would think that La Lohan would be happy as a cokewhore in Colombia since the judge decided to keep her rehab and out of jail….this time. But sources–and by sources, i mean the guy who helps Lindsay knit potholders in rehab–say Lindsay is anything but happy these days.
Well sure, i mean this is party season in LA and she’s stuck finger-painting and listening to Dina rant about activist judges and poor little girls.

But what really makes her unhappy is her rapidly depleting bank account. It seems that drug addict and criminal, Lohan, will need to find a to help cover her bill at the Betty Ford Center.
The source says: “Lindsay can’t afford to pay for treatment. Three months at the facility will cost her almost $50,000, which she doesn’t have.”

Man, if she’d just skipped that last coke binge, you know, the one that got her arrested again and sent back to rehab again, she might have had the 50K.

Lohan, who is used to living the high life–pun intended–asking for free clothes and free dinners and free admittance to the latest drug party, doesn’t seem to have it in her to ask someone to pay for her rehab.

Her ‘peopele’–and by ‘perople,’ I mean, famewhoring mother, Dina Lohan, the root of all that is wrong with Lindsay Lohan–tried and failed to sell her first post rehab interview for big bucks, so her only option now is to find some sort of sponsor.

Um, yeah, good luck with that.
Although….maybe if I made some “Save Lohan” t-shirts, I could help her…..Nah.
Let her find a cheaper rehab.

Speaking of rehab:

Comedian Andy Dick chose to appear on Celebrity Rehab to fight his addictions to drugs and alcohol, and, well, the rahb doesn’t seem to be sticking.
Dick was up to his old, er, tircks in Hollywood this week when he ALLEGEDLY drunkenly flashed his, well, dick, at patrons of the Cafe Audrey Coffee House.
An onlooker–who got a glimpse of Dick’s dick–says the comnedian was sitting with friends when he suddenly kissed one of his male companions on the mouth, exposed the aforementioned gentials, and then “staggered down the street, making quite the commotion.”
Yes, folks, even in Hollywood, the sight of a D-list actor being drunk and naked can cause a commotion.
Of course, this isn’t Dick’s first time to show off. He also exposed himself at a Fourth of July party over the summer, ALLEGEDLY idecalring his independence from clothing. And he has been arrested twice for unwarranted sexual advances to both men and women,
Maybe Dick ought to get to a rehab that isn’t a TV show.


Filed under Andy Dick, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson

>I Ain’t One To Gossip, But….

>It pays to be rich in America.

It seems that serial drug addict–and her own personal drug mule–Paris Hilton has struck a plea deal with the Las Vegas district attorney after her arrest last month for gum, oh, I mean, cocaine, possession.
Paris will plead guilty to two misdemeanors and will serve one year probation, pay a $2,000 fine, and serve 200 hours of community service.

The best way for her to serve the community would be to disappear and never be heard from again.
In the plea agreement, the district attorney states:
“Defendant shall stay out of trouble. Defendant agrees that an arrest for any charge, excluding minor traffic violations for which a citation is issued, shall result in the immediate termination of her probation and the execution of the suspended sentences.”

Paris Hilton? Stay out of trouble?
Yeah, that’s like asking her to stay off drugs.
Never gonna happen.
It pays to be rich in America.

But not so much in Japan.
Paris Hilton, the 29-year-old drug-mule, drug-addict, fame-whore, after pleading guilty to two misdemeanors in her Las Vegas cocaine case, has been detained in Japan, unable to enter the country due to her drug charges and sentence.

Hilton was set to appear at a news conference in Tokyo to promote her fashion line, but that appearance was canceled. Hilton was forced to cancel her tour and returned home when she was denied entry at Tokyo’s airport–running afoul of strict Japanese laws.
“I’m going back home, and I look forward to coming back to Japan in the future,” Hilton sniffed, before departing on her private jet.The trip had been planned before Hilton’s latest run-in with the law regarding drug use, and her subsequent arrest and guilty plea. The terms of her sentence did not restrict travel overseas, but Japan don’t like cokewhores running amok in their streets.
Hilton’s publicist, Dawn Miller, said Paris plans to make the trips at a later date: “Paris is very disappointed [that she was caught again with drugs] and fought hard to keep her business commitments [and drug buys] and see her fans [and dealers], but she is forced to postpone her commitments in Asia. Paris understands and respects the rules and laws of the immigration authorities in Japan and fully wishes to cooperate with them [and has trashed a hotel, a private plane, and every drug-infused restroom at the airport].”
We could learn a lesson from Japan.

Apparently, Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, wants to make a movie of her life story, and has already announced it to the press, and cast it as well.

According to Franklin, Halle Berry would portray her younger self–though Aretha has named no one to play her older, um, larger, self. Denzel Washington would take the role of her father, C.L. Franklin, and Terrence Howard would be Smokey Robinson.
Uh huh.
Halle can’t sing, Aretha, at least not like you. And I can’t see Denzel taking on what amounts to a small part of the whole story. And Terrence Howard? He’s on TV now, girl.
But that ain’t stopping Miss F. She is claiming that all of the actors are “enthusiastic about the project and have agreed to take on these roles, subject to further negotiation.”
I guess when Aretha calls, everybody, and I mean everybody, shows some R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Ashton Kutcher, who fancies himself quite the Twitterer, and I fancy him quite the twit, may find himself Demi Moore-less because of a far more dated technology.


It seems that Kutcher, who may just barley make it to his fifth wedding anniversary with Moore, has been having an affair with 21-year-old Brittney Jones. And Jones, in typical mistress style, has held on to texts that she ALLEGES were sent to her by Ashton. And she has turned over the texts to Star magazine, that bastion of journalistic integrity.

Brittney [to Ashton]: “When’s the next time you’re gonna have an empty house?”
Ashton [to Brittney]: “Not sure. Maybe the end of the month. I’m w/ my daughter.””
Brittney Jones has already blabbed her story to Star magazine once before, claiming that she and Kutcher had sex on a couch while Demi was filming ‘LOL: Laughing Out Loud’ with Miley Cyrus.
If true, and I’m not saying it is, or it isn’t, I wonder how Demi feels thinking her husband has been cheating on her with a women young enough to be her daughter.

Former Friends star [read: out of work former star] Matt LeBlanc is not a happy man.
Especially if you call him Joey.

LeBlanc says he wants to put his Friends past behind him, and when a reporter for the Uk Mirror accidentally called him Joey, LeBlanc went crazy.
The incident started when the 43-year-old actor[?] clumsily knocked into the reporter’s table, sending glasses flying. The reporter jokingly asked, “You all right, Joey? How YOU do-in
LeBlanc, however, was not amused. He ALLEGEDLY raged, “I’m not Joey…. Don’t you dare call me Joey…. The papers say I’m finished, so don’t call me f**king Joey…. I want to leave that all behind. I’m moving on…..I’m not Joey….For the last time. I’m not f**king Joey…. It’s Matt…. Matt LeBlanc…. Joey’s in the past. I’m trying to do something new.”
Whatever you say……………………..Joey.

File this under: Too Bad, So Sad.

It seems that the company that built all of Mel Gibson’s properties in Malibu, including his three residences and his own personal Tres Catholique church, are suing the Anti-Semite-Alcoholic-Batterer-Homophobe-Misogynist because he ALLEGEDLY owes them money.
And, if they win their lawsuit, Melvin will be facing foreclosure.
The first suit claims that Melvin Gibson owes Ramage Construction over $12,000 for work done on the three residences, while the second claims he owes some $200,000 on the church.
Churches are expensive, which is why i never built one at Chez Smallville.
Anyway, according to the terms of the lawsuit, Melvin can either cough up the cash he owes, or the company will ask for permission to foreclose.
Oh, the humanity.

Uh oh.
Does SJP know about this?
It seems that Mr Big, AKA Chris Noth, has some thoughts about the future of the Sex & The City franchise and it looks mighty bleak.

He says that Sex is dead, and the New York magazine killed it, and he gladly told that to a reporter from the magazine.
Huh? What? Huh?
“It’s over. The franchise is dead. The press killed it. Your magazine fucking killed it. New York Magazine. It’s like all the critics got together and said, ‘This franchise must die.’ Because they all had the exact same review. It’s like they didn’t see the movie. Got any more gum?”
Um. Rather than gum, howsabout a Valium, because some one’s a little peeved.
Magazines don’t kill movies. Movies die because audiences don’t go see them because sometimes a movie with a 2 after it is really just the same as the first movie, only, maybe, in the desert somewhere.


Filed under Aretha Franklin, Ashton Kutcher, Chris Noth, Matt LeBlanc, Mel Gibson, Paris Hilton Is A Moron

>I Ain’t One To Gossip, But…..

>Jersey Shore star[?] Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was charged Wednesday with annoying people on the beach.
What about annoying people through the TV?
Plus, she was subsequently fined for ALLEGING that her name was Snooki. Seriously, she’s an almost grown woman. Snooki?
This new charge stems from her late July arrest–isn’t she a peach–in Seaside Heights, a New Jersey beach town. The faux-reality celebutard is also facing charges of disorderly conduct and creating a public nuisance.
And for calling herself Snooki.
Snooki’s mouthpiece, one Raymond Raya, entered a not guilty plea for all three charges. If convicted, she’ll face up to $2,000 in fines. Oops, there goes tanning bed and bad hair-do time.
The little twit says the arrest was a wake-up call of sorts, because she embarrassed her family: “My dad was very, very pissed. He’s like, ‘I didn’t raise you like this.’ I just felt really bad, so I’m definitely going to stop drinking during the daytime.”
How proud he must be hearing you announce that you’ll end your daytime booze-fests.

Real Housewives of New Jersey star[?] Teresa Giudice and her husband Joe owe creditors nearly $11 million in various debts, and have filed for bankruptcy.
But whose fault is it? That $11 million debt?
Teresa, she’s the dumb one[?], blames her fame for why she’s
“If she wasn’t on the show, this all would be much easier,” a friend–and by friend I mean dumbass neighbor–says. “Everything would be settled by now, but because she is now famous everyone is using the situation to get press for themselves and humiliate her and her family. It’s honestly got to the point where she’s not sure if she wants to come back for another season.”
Oh, she’ll be back. She needs to money and the fame-whoring exposure.
See, just a few days ago, new evidence proved the Teresa and her whipped husband Joe spent $60,000 on furnishing, after they filed for bankruptcy.
Teresa and Joe bought $8,800 curtains and spent $45,000 on wall hangings, mirrors, frames, tables and chairs, while trying to convince a Newark federal bankruptcy judge to stop the August 22 auction of their personal belongings.
“Teresa is sick of everyone knowing all her private financial business,” an insider–and by insider, I mean, someone who sold Teresa $8,000 drapes–says, “She didn’t sign up to be on ‘Housewives’ so that everyone could look into her bank account. Millions of couples go through what they are going through, except no one knows about it. It’s just not fair.”
Yeah, but while going through bankruptcy most couples aren’t out spending more money.
Yeah, I blame Bravo, too.

Well, it seems going to jail and rehab pays more than starring in movies.
Drug addict, and convicted criminal, Lindsay Lohan is expected to make $1 million for her first interview as a free woman with OK Magazine!
And I imagine it will go up her nose faster than you can say, Lindsay stop!
Still, some folks are hoping that this will be the wale-up call that Lohan needs to get her life in order and stop being such a fuckup and a drain on society.
And then there’s this bit of good news.
She will not be punished for, ahem, stealing her friends Rolex.
Before Lohan disappeared into prison and rehab, she was accused of stealing a $35,000 watch from a friend’s apartment. The owner of the watch claimed to have photographic evidence that proved Lindsay was wearing the timepiece that she never returned.
But then, oddly enough, this week, after news came of Lohan’s million dollar payday from Okay Magazine! the charges miraculously vanished.
As did a small chunk of that cool million.

A judge in Illinois has dismissed a lawsuit against against Gabrielle Union that was brought by Siohvaughn Wade, ex-wife to Union’s current man, Dwayne Wade. Siohvaughn had accused Gabrielle Union of engaging in “sexual foreplay” in front of her kids with Dwayne, leaving the tiny tots “psychologically damaged.”
Wow, watching Daddy get busy with the mistress? Yeah, that’s not good.
But Gabrielle and her team have denied the accusations from the beginning, calling the suit a “waste of time” and claiming the matter was something that didn’t “belong in the Illinois Court System.”
Apparently, the judge agreed and the suit went bye-bye.
Mistresses and whores, take note.

Zsa Zsa Gabor has been on her deathbed for weeks, though now, thankfully, she is reportedly back home and getting better. And there are reports that Zsa Zsa and her daughter, Francesca Hilton, who have long been estranged, may have reunited.
But that happy occasion didn’t stop Zsa Zsa’s husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, from renewing a 2005 lawsuit alleging Francesca stole millions of dollars from Gabor.
“People come out of the woodwork, like vultures waiting for her to die, so they can take her money, but I will not let that happen,” von Anhalt, who is Gabor’s ninth husband and would like all of what’s left of Zsa Zsa’s money to be his.
Years back, Zsa Zsa accused her daughter of “conspiring with others to fraudulently take out a $3.75 million loan on her home and of then taking $2 million of it to buy herself a house,” Francesca Hilton, daughter of hotelier Conrad Hilton and great aunt of Paris Hilton, says she was wrongfully accused of all charges and countersued for damages. The case was tossed when Zsa Zsa failed to appear in court.
Von Anhalt says he dropped the lawsuit in 2007 due to Gabor’s declining health, but now, as she is ALLEGEDLY near death, he’s back in court. Yeah, when the wife’s ill you drop the case, when the wife is dying, you sue again.

The folks at PETA will probably burn him in effigy.
Aging rocker, hasbeen, and big-time hunter, Ted Nugent was fined $1,750 after pleading no contest to charges of using illegal methods to kill a young dear on his reality show, Spirit of The Wild.
While taping his show, Ted was caught baiting and killing a spike buck with a bow and arrow, which, according to the California Department of Fish and Game is illegal considering the size of the animal.
Bambi is much too small to kill, by hunting.
Although I think Nugent cares more about the $1750 than he does about the life of a small animal.

Larry Birkhead, former boytoy, and ALLEGED homosexual, of Anna Nicole Smith, and father of their little bank account, er, girl, has testified in the case against Howard K. Stern and two doctors who are accused of unlawfully plying Smith with prescription drugs.
Birkhead revealed on the stand that he witnessed Smith take many medications during their relationship, though she always claimed she wasn’t an addict.
“She would say, ‘I’m in pain. I’m not a drug addict,'” Birkhead said. And when he asked if she was taking too many medications, she said, “I have a high tolerance because I’m in pain.”
Birkhead said when they lived together, he saw Methadone, Topamax, Vicadin, Ambien, Valium, Chlonopin and other drugs around Smith’s home. He also that he was so concerned about the number of drugs she was taking, that he at one point, he hid her Methadone.
But he doesn’t, or didn’t, think she was an addict?
Oh Larry, you’re an asshat.

And on the Mel Gibson front:
Oksana Girigorieva’s lawyers intend to subpoena Gibson’s ex-wife, Robyn Moore Gibson, in order to question her about her claims that Mel Gibson was not physically abusive during their recently-ended marriage of 28 years.
It seems the lawyers want to question the ex-Missus Alcoholic-Homophobe-Anti-Semite-Batterer because Melvin once admitted to Oksana that he threw a TV at his former wife.
Oksana also says she once saw Mel hitting his youngest son, Tommy.
It’s gonna be tough, though, because Robyn has already told the judge that “Mel never engaged in any physical abuse of any kind toward me before, during, or after our marriage.”
Uh, huh. Oksana, and I, thinks otherwise.
Mel should have taken a page from Elvis’ TV book: shoot out the set, don’t hurl it at anyone.

Saturday Night Live’s Fred Armisen filed for divorce this week from his wife of ten months.
Armisen is now ALLEGEDLY dating SNL costar Abby Elliott, who is roughly half his age.
This news comes just days after Armisen split from his wife, Mad Men star Elisabeth Moss, after less than a year of holy heterosexual traditional marriage.
A source–and by source, I mean the guy that holds the lights when they’re filming SNL–says: “After the split, Fred sought comfort in Abby. They just started dating a few months ago.”
Um, Fred, wasn’t May, when you split from your wife, just a few months ago?
Yeah, glad the heteros can have marriage.


Filed under Fred Armisen, Gabrielle Union, Larry Birkhead, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Ted Nugent, Teresa Giudice, Zsa Zsa Gabor

>The Apple Don’t Fall Far From The Fucktard Tree


I am no fan of Mel Gibson.
Alcoholic. Homophobe. Adulterer. Bastard. Anti-Semite. Misogynist. ALLEGED Batterer.
But, um, yeah, maybe Melvin has a reason for being such a complete and utter asshat.
And it’s called Daddy.
Papa Gibson, one Hutton Gibson, recently claimed on a radio talk show that Pope Benedict is homosexual.
Um, okay. Did Hutton and Benny , er, do the deed? I mean, is that how Hutton knows?
No, Hutton knows the Pope is a fag because the Catholic Church has been “politicized” to the point where they can’t address controversial issues such as homosexuality. Hutton says: “It’s not willing to do so because half of the people there in the Vatican are queer.”
So, naturally, the question of the Pope’s sexual orientation, er, arises, and, when asked if he thinks Benedict is a homosexual, Hutton says: “I certainly do … why else would he put up with this….He’s a slippery character.”
Now, keep in mind that this is the same Hutton Gibson who, in 2003, questioned how the Nazis could have killed and disposed of six million bodies during the Holocaust. Yup, Hutton Gibson says the Holocaust never happened.
I guess we should have expected Mel Gibson to become a complete and utter waste of air being raised by such a delusional fucktard.


Filed under Asshat, Fucktard, Hutton Gibson, Mel Gibson, Wingnut