>Note To GaGaWannabes….

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………..this is not how it’s done.

And, yes, that is, or was, Courtney Love.

But, if Courtney was going to audition for the Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? remake, then she’s right on target.

>Tag. I’m It?

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1) What is your current obsession?
Blogging? Nah, that’s too easy. It’s actually publication, as in, trying to get a book published! Dammit!

2) What are you wearing today?
Right now, I have an ankle brace on–relapse of the tumble from a few weeks back–grey socks, plaid shorts and a plain white T.

3) What’s for dinner?
Dinner was leftover pizza…..cold. Don’t knock it!

4) What would you eat for your last meal?
Something spicy, very spicy….Indian or Thai. As long as there was lots of ice cold beer to go with it. No dessert, because i don’t really have a sweet tooth.

5) What’s the last thing you bought?
Other than the aforementioned ankle brace? A flatscreen TV and an umbrella for the outside dining table.

6) What are you listening to right now?
Show tunes. i know……Gay! But they’re doing stuff from Miss Saigon and I love that show!

7) What do you think of the person who tagged you?
Oddly enough i got tagged twice and i don’t remember either time.
First up is Lou from The Quiet Life. Excellent blogger, thoughtful, provocative….makes me think. She has some tales to tell about life on the other side of the world. How cool is that?
Then we have DuPree from Chlorine In The Gene Pool who is so fabulously, uproariously funny that I cannot read his blog while drinking anything lest I do a spit-take.

8) If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
I would love a farmhouse in Avignon, among the grapes, so i could make wine and drink wine and live wine. Someplace peaceful and beautiful.

9) If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
New York City. I would never sleep. Love it there.

10) Which language do you want to learn?
I’d like to relearn the French i forgot from high school.

11) What’s your favourite quote (for now)?
It’s not from a poet or anything like that, but I do love this song lyric from Crowded House: Mostly I want to free myself from the burden of inaction. Mostly I want to raise myself to any plane I can imagine.

12) What is your favourite colour?
Green. Used to be blue, then black, now green. Although I’m told I look dashing in red–I say it’s because the color matches my eyes.

13) What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
I have a black wool coat Pea Coat that, for years, I couldn’t wear–living in Miami winter lasts about thirty minutes. Up here in Smallville I get to bring it out all winter long and I love it.

14) What is your dream job?
I’d like to be an author, at least in the published sense of the word. I’d also like to help people, even if it is just by listening. There isn’t a lot of actual listening going on these days. I could own a bookstore, too, because I do loves me some readin’.

15) What’s your favourite magazine?
I get The Advocate, This Old House and Entertainment Weekly. I love them all because they really have nothing to do with one another.

16) If you had £100 now, what would you spend it on?
Well, that’s about $161 US buck-a-roos, so I think that would buy Carlos and me a lovely dinner….if we stick to one bottle of wine. If. We. Stick. To. One.

17) What are you going to do after this?
Relax and put the wrapped ankle up. The Real Housewives of New York: The Lost Footage is on tonight. Guilty pleasure.

18) What are your favourite films?

All About Eve; anything with Bette Davis. Anything. Same goes for Meryl Streep. Then we can add The Red Violin, Angels In America, and Longtime Companion. The Wizard of Oz, Meet Me In St Louis.

19) What is your special talent?
I have the uncanny, though friends say annoying, habit of seeing both sides of any issue and understanding them. Not agreeing, mind you, but understanding.

20) What inspires you?
Music. Weather. Carlos. Sounds of life, like my animals purring. So many inspirations, so little time.

21) Your favourite books?
Anything by Armistead Maupin, Caleb Carr, old Anne Rice. I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb; How Long Has This Been Going On? by Ethan Mordden; In The Spirit Of Crazy Horse by Peter Mathiessen; I’ve never really met a book I didn’t like.

22) Do you collect anything?
I do not and I have no idea why. Except to say that I like to live simply, so i don’t like a lot of “things” around. So, I guess I could say, I collect memories and emotions and experiences. But then, sitting and thinking and looking at Question 21, I guess I’d have to say I collect books, because I rarely get rid of any of them.

23) What are you currently reading?
I am reading three books because I’m crazy like that. The Mayor Of Castro Street: The Life & Times of Harvey Milk by Randy Shilts; I am also reading Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris; and The Promise Of Rest by Reynolds Price.

24) Go to your book shelf, take down the first book with a red spine you see, turn to page 26 and type out the first line:
“As I’ve told you, my father said, clearing his throat once or twice, Professor Rossi was a fine scholar and a true friend.” From The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. Not the greatest sentence, but it is a good book.

25) By what criteria do you judge a person?
Honesty. Fairness. Manners. I look for those things in others so I can make sure to tend to them in my own being. Sometimes you need a guide.

And now, I can tag Joy at Babble On, Charlie at Berry Blog, Stephen at Post Apocalyptic Bohemian and Beth at Nutwood Junction because they are all so interesting and have such things to say.

>Buzz Saws and Bad Bette Davis Impressions

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It’s funny, in an I’m-so-annoyed-I-could-snap-at-any-second kind of way.

I talked a couple of days ago about Carlos and the Breathe Right strip, and how it ended up on his elbow in the morning. I had several people ask if the strips work, and I said, Yes, most of the time.

Last night was not one of those times.

I went to bed a little after ten. After my day of yardwork and cat attacks, and cooking pasta for dinner, I was tired. I crawled into bed and was asleep before I knew it.

Carlos came to bed a little after 11PM, and the snoring began before I knew that either.

Buzz saw. Charlie? You’re snoring.

Buzz saw. Charlie? You’re SNORING!

Buzz saw. Charlie? YOU’RE SNORING!!

Buzz saw. CHARLIE? YOU”RE SNORING!!!!!!!!

I grabbed my pillows and headed into the guest room where I slept all night. Even MaxGoldberg and Tuxedo had had enough of the Buzz Saw and they joined me in bed. the three of us commiserated and cuddled and slept until morning, when a light came on and a hand nudged us.

Why are you sleeping in this bed?

Snoring!

Oh, I’m sorry.

So, I slowly pull myself out of bed, head into the bathroom for morning rituals, and then out to the kitchen. Suddenly I turned into every 1940s actor or actress, speaking in that affected English accent.

Fo-ah times, Cholly. Fo-ah times I begged you to stop snoring. And fo-ah times my wishes were ignored. Fo-ah times!

Poor Carlos. he had to put up with my rant about the snoring, and then my bad Bette Davis in The Letter impression.

But tonight? The guestroom is all his!