>What If They Threw A Tea Party And No One Could Spell?

>click ’em to emBIGGERate ’em.

Apparently he stole their dictionary.

And by ‘fix it,’ I think she means bring a ‘g’.

Climb down to patriotism?

And, while you’re speaking it, learn it.

Who is Hugh Mistake?

Good, because I don’t need amnety.

And I don’t need amensty either.

And then learn to spell it.

It’s already cost us an ‘f’.

This is the classic. Pot.Kettle.Moran.

She hates the president so much she can’t even remember his name.

>More Hatred From The Catholic Church

>

Bishop Francesco Nolè, a man of God, and also, apparently, a man of few active brain cells, believes that gay people, and criminals, don’t deserve funerals:

“Our behaviour, which could be perceived as mean or cruel, in the long-run often heals and evangelises. We must have the courage and tact, perhaps first informing the individual, or the families if he has passed, that it’s not possible to administer a communion or funeral. We would perhaps pray for his soul, which must be done.”

Oh, Francesco, you ought to start praying for your own soul, because goddess ain’t gonna like this.

>Constance Can Go!

>

First there was a prom and Constance McMillen asked if she could bring her girlfriend. She was told ‘No’ and the prom was cancelled.

Then some parents decided that would hold a “private” prom–read No Gays Allowed–and then that was cancelled because parents thought they’d get sued.

But now, the Itawamba Agricultural High School’s parent-sponsored prom is back on, and it will be held at the Fulton Country Club, the club’s manager, Stanley Ramey said. It had been originally set at another venue, but was canceled Monday night, though parents who sponsored the private prom would not say why.

Lori Byrd, who served on the bigot, I mean, parent, organizing committee that planned the canceled event, said it was called off because, “there are a lot of people involved and they don’t want to get sued.”

Whatever Lori.

The good news is that Constance can go to the prom now.

Now, think for yourself, isn’t this an awful lot of hullabaloo about a girl wanting to take her girlfriend to the prom? Isn’t it sad that this mess came about for such a stupid reason?

It’s a dance.

Have fun, Constance!

>Oklahoma Legislators Are Dumb

>

They don’t like The Gays in Oklahomo, er, Oklahom-A.

They think we’re worse than terrorists; they think we caused this economic downfall; they think we are responsible for Mylie Cyrus’ career and Kate Gosselin on Dancing With The Stars. If it’s bad, blame it on The Gays.

Out there in Oklahoma, the legislators have been trying to find a way to remove the LGBT from protection under Hate Crimes Legislation, because it’s Oklahoma-Okay for gays to be bashed and brutalized and murdered for our gayness.

But, those Oklahoma legislators are as stupid as they are hateful. See, instead of removing The Gays from hate crime protection, they made a boo-boo and removed race and religion instead!

Yup, that’s right!

If you wanna bash an African American, a Mexican, an Asian, you can do it in Oklahoma!

If you wanna bash a Baptists, a Catholic, or a Jew, you can do it in Oklahoma!

Par-tay, for the haters!

Oklahoma State Senate Minority Leader Andrew Rice said that when the Senate passed Senate Bill 1965 on March 10, it eliminated hate crime protections for race and religion. This particular bill states that local law enforcement agencies should not enforce any sections of federal law under hate crimes statutes listed under Title 18 U.S. Code Section 245 unless they are in correlation with Oklahoma’s hate crimes laws. But the protections for sexual orientation and gender identity in the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Act are not listed under Section 245, but Section 249.

Rice said, in response to the error, “Numbers is hard.”

Okay, maybe he didn’t say that. but doesn’t this make Oklahoma, home of Dingbat Wingnut Asshat Sally Kern, look even more dumb?

>Tiny Tina Gets Her Job Back

>

Earlier this month I told you the story [HERE] of Ray Fetcho, a male nurse who had been fired from his job because thirty-plus years ago, as drag persona Tiny Tina, he’d been arrested for hosting a Wet Underwear Show at a gay club in Florida.

Well, now there is good news.

Last week the Florida Department of Health overturned the decision to fire Fetcho which had been made by the Agency for Health Care Administration, which polices and licenses registered nurses.

The Florida Department of Health: “It has been determined you have demonstrated clear and convincing evidence you will not present a danger if employed within the health-care field.”

Ray Fetcho plans to return to work at a Coconut Creek retirement home in April.

Great news for Ray, and the patients who depend on him.

>More On Derrick Martin

>

A bit more on the Derrick Martin story.

You know him, the gay kid from Georgia who wanted to take his boyfriend to prom, and he asked for permission and the school said “Yes” and then his parents kicked him out of their house?

All righty then, we’re all up to speed.

But the debate still rages in his hometown of Cochran, Georgia, which, oddly enough, was originally called Dykesboro.

Seriously. but I digress,

Derrick is suddenly The homosexual about town. people shout his name as they pass him on the street; many people are with him. Others, not so much. it’s those people we need to see.

Barbara Anderson: “I think they [the school board] ought to do like that other state and cancel the prom. They won’t allow us to have God in school, but they’ll allow this?”

Barb? Honey? There is a thing in this country called, and forgive me for shouting but some of you wingnuts don’t seem to get it, SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!

Jason Ledbetter: “It bothers me. By him doing that, it shows we accept it.”

Jason? Moron? You don’t need to accept it; it is. Derrick Martin is gay and you don’t have to like it, but you cannot deny him the same rights as every other student. M’kay?

Faye Ortiz: “What they do is up to them. They’ve got to answer to God.”

Same goes for you, Faye; and I don’t think god will take kindly to your homophobic Bible thumping. She don’t roll like that.

But, for every Barbara Anderson, Jason Ledbetter, and Faye Ortiz, there are more rational minds.

Victoria Cagle: “I think what they [the board] did was the right thing. I think what he’s doing is awesome.”

Kenny Laney, a business partner of Jason Ledbetter: “It’s like an inter-racial couple. I thought we would have gotten over that by now, and gotten over this, too.”

But, oddly missing from the debate, and from the support for Derrick Martin, are his gay friends. Even his boyfriend has yet to comment on the uproar; and his parents, except for kicking him out of their home, haven’t said a word. But he expected some of them to stand with him when he took his request to school officials.

“I thought I would have had a little bit of backup. But it’s just me.”

No, Derrick, it isn’t just you. You now have a whole community that stands with you, and by you and for you.

>Blah Blah Blah

>

I get a lot of questions from folks I meet here in South Carolina who want to know where I’m from, seeing that I don’t have that usual South Carolina draaaaawl. So, I want to know, is it wrong for me to say I was born and raised in South Carolina but I don’t have the drawl because I graduated from high school?

Last weekend was Cup weekend, when the annual steeplechase event came to Smallville. It’s a chance to see and be seen, drink and get drunk. So, with that said, i might ass that if I see one more fat drunk in a seersucker suit with a pastel tie with his wide in a summer dress and flip-flops stumbling through town, I.Will.Go.Off.

Carlos and I made a trip to Sam’s club over the weekend to buy some things we’re having for a little gathering in May. We loaded up on chicken and flank steak, queso fresco and grass seed; yes, I know, quite the odd combination. At the checkout, we wait while our purchases are tallied, and then Carlos swipes his Visa card.

“Is that a debit card?”

“No. It’s credit.”

“We take MasterCard, Discover card, cash, and Visa debit, but not Visa credit.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

We left.

At the Customer service desk, we asked why they don’t accept Visa credit cards, and were told again that they accept MasterCard, Discover and Visa debit.

“Why not Visa credit?”

“Because.”

We’re going to Costco.

FU Sam’s Club.

I’ve finished by gorgeous paint job in the foyer of Casa Smallville, and we laid down the new rug we found at the Homo Depot. Now, it’s time to redo the secretary so we can put that in the hall. We were going with a lime green and red, shocking, paint combination, but after finding the rug, we’re toning it down. We’re paint the secretary an olive green, and paint the interior, display shelves, gold, so they’ll show off some of Carlos’ tea pot.

Yes. he collects tea pots! You gotta problem?

But I digress.

Carlos bought some varnish remover, and we took the secretary to the garage to begin the work. As the day progressed, i began calling Carlos “Gypsy.”

What does that mean? he asked.

Well, she was a stripper, too.

He didn’t get it. I’m beginning to wonder if he’s really gay, or if this isn’t some elaborate hoax.

>Sassy Gay Friend: Othello

>

>F-I-asco

>

I love movies, but I haven’t been in a while. I haven’t seen Avatar and I probably won’t–it’s a James Cameron thing….I’ve never seen Titanic either. I wanted to see Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland but haven’t made it yet. There always seems to be something else to do.

But I am amazed at how much these movies are making; I know the 3D-IMAX extravaganzas cost more to see, but still……Billions for Avatar? Hundreds of millions for Alice?

And now comes word that Uma Thurman’s new movie, Motherhood, opened in London to……just $131.00. Yes, you read it right. I spend more than that on margaritas!

It appears, according to The Guardian that about twelve people paid to see Motherhood. In fact, on the film’s opening day, one ticket was sold.

One.Ticket.

To be fair, the film did make $93,388 in its short four-week run in the United States, but that only proves my theory that people in England have better taste than we do; we’ll see anything.

>Good For You

>

It’s been a busy overnight here at Gay HeadQueertors. We’ve had to go back into the warehouse and dust off Ricky Martin’s “Good For You, You’re Gay” toaster oven, as well as the updated version of The Gay Agenda.

And it isn’t like we haven’t done this before.

Other times, we’ve heard the news that Ricky was coming out, and we’ve readied the gift basket only to have him deny the news and say that he wasn’t gay. I personally have hauled that toaster oven from the warehouse more times than I can remember, but this, this time, Ricky himself has uttered the words:

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.

On his blog, he decided to come clean, and come out:

A few months ago I decided to write my memoirs, a project I knew was going to bring me closer to an amazing turning point in my life. From the moment I wrote the first phrase I was sure the book was the tool that was going to help me free myself from things I was carrying within me for a long time. Things that were too heavy for me to keep inside. Writing this account of my life, I got very close to my truth. And this is something worth celebrating.
For many years, there has been only one place where I am in touch with my emotions fearlessly and that’s the stage….It’s my vice. The music, the lights and the roar of the audience are elements that make me feel capable of anything. This rush of adrenaline is incredibly addictive. I don’t ever want to stop feeling these emotions. But it is serenity that brings me to where I’m at right now. An amazing emotional place of comprehension, reflection and enlightenment….I need to share.
Many people told me: “Ricky it’s not important”, “it’s not worth it”, “all the years you’ve worked and everything you’ve built will collapse”, “many people in the world are not ready to accept your truth, your reality, your nature”. Because all this advice came from people who I love dearly, I decided to move on with my life not sharing with the world my entire truth. Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage. Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions.
If someone asked me today, “Ricky, what are you afraid of?” I would answer “the blood that runs through the streets of countries at war…child slavery, terrorism…the cynicism of some people in positions of power, the misinterpretation of faith.” But fear of my truth? Not at all! On the contrary, It fills me with strength and courage. This is just what I need especially now that I am the father of two beautiful boys that are so full of light and who with their outlook teach me new things every day. To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where born with. Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen 5 or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now. Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment.
These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn’t even know existed.
What will happen from now on? It doesn’t matter. I can only focus on what’s happening to me in this moment. The word “happiness” takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.

Ricky? Good for you, you’re gay!

Welcome, and enjoy the toaster oven.