>C’Mon Nebraska!

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Well, it’s been a year since the Iowa Supreme Court cleared the way for same-sex marriages to be legal in Iowa, over the weekend a rally in Omaha called for Nebraska to follow suit.
Gay and lesbian couples and supporters of marriage equality from both Nebraska and Iowa walked onto the Bob Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge and met in the middle with a message.

“As soon as you cross the line, you’re no longer married. You realize that? We’ve got to help Nebraska change that,” said rally attendee Susie Brenner, who married her partner, Linda Beckstead, in Iowa after the ruling made it legal. Their union is unrecognized in Nebraska. “We live in Omaha and we get no benefits,” Brenner said. “We wanted to get married on the first day available and we want Nebraska to join with Iowa and make it happen.”

And we want California, and New York, and New Jersey, and, hell, even South Carolina, to meet in the middle and realize that marriage equality is a civil right, not a religious one.

Come on, Nebraska, you can do it. It happened just across the river and they’re doing fine over there.

>An Open Letter To The Parents And Students Of Itawamba County School District:

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You must be so proud of yourselves.

You pulled a fast one, you sneaky, homophobic, bigoted, asshats.

And how you must be laughing now, that you kept The Lesbian, Constance McMillen, her date, and some of those, excuse my language, retards, from attending the prom and ruining it for your demon spawn children.

Yes, you said you’d have a prom and let Constance come. How magnanimous of you. I’ll pause, while you get a dictionary and look up magnanimous. I know it’s a big word. Oh, you don’t have one of them dictionary word books? My bad.

We’ll move on.

So, Constance thought she was getting her prom, and you’ll faked her out. You and the rest of your backwoods, cousin-fucking, toothless, moonshine drinking, grade school drop-out hillbilly brethren had two proms. One for the freaks, like Constance McMillen, her date, and four or five special needs students, and one for the normal kids.

You think you outsmarted Constance.

You didn’t.

She went to prom with her girlfriend, which is exactly what she wanted. And she got a prom where she wasn’t ostracized or called names or shunned. She got to dance with her girlfriend.

So, who won that round

I’d say Constance, because she continues to learn more and more about the parents and students of the Itawamba County School District, and realizes she doesn’t fit in there. She has a brain, and a heart, and common decency.

You, parents of Itawamba County School District, are left with hate and black hearts and children who will carry on your legacy of small-mindedness, and bigotry and homophobia. One day, when your children are grown, maybe, as you sit around the buckstove warming up some possum stew, and reading from the Good Book, you’ll hear about all the great things Constance McMillen has done with her life. And you’ll look around your trailer, at the empty beer cans and tins of chew, in a room filled with your own demon spawn who don’t have a job and wonder who really won the fight over prom.

Constance did.

>The Church Sinks To A New Low

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In another round of Put The Blame On fill in the blank regarding the Catholic Church pedophile priest scandal, Pope Benedict’s personal preacher, the Reverend Raniero Cantalamessa, is likening accusations against the pope and the church in the sex abuse scandal to the “collective violence” suffered by the Jews.

Yes. Asking the church to come clean about the decades of child molestation and subsequent cover-up and protection of pedophile priests is just like sending six millions Jews to German death camps.

I had a hard time comprehending the Catholic church’s excuse that it was gay priests who were molesting young boys, because all statistics point out that most pedophiles are heterosexual men.

I was confused when the Catholic church said it wasn’t pedophilia, because most of the boys weren’t prepubescent boys, but were over the age of thirteen; that’s called pederasty. But guess what, Catholic church? Anyone under the age of eighteen is considered a child, so you can play your little semantics game, but it’s all child molestation.

And I giggled a little when the Vatican exorcist blamed all the Pope’s troubles–note they never mention the children, all the trouble is on the Pope and the church–on Satan.

But now, to say that what the church and the Pope are dealing with is similar to the mass executions of Jews, is particularly shameful and disgusting. Again, the church plays the Poor me card; they don’t mention the children; they don’t mention their own Pope’s hand in moving pedophile priests from church to church. They ask why they’re being attacked.

You’re being attacked because you have systematically let the children of your faith be molested by priests; you are being attacked because, rather than have those pedophile priests face charges, you move them around so they can continue to molest; you are being attacked because you lay the blame for the mistakes of the church and the Pope at the feet of anyone and everyone other than your own.

>Jamie Foxx Would Eat Pizza In An All-Male Shower

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It seems that Jamie Foxx and Howard Sterns are having a war of words these days. Stern has made references to Foxx’s sexual orientation, by using high school humor–oh, who am I kidding, it’s elementary school humor–to poke fun at Foxx’s new Sirius radio show, Foxxhole.

I don’t need to draw a picture, do I?

All righty then.

So, Jamie Foxx retaliated in kind. He came up with that old standby that straight men who are secure in their sexual orientation use when they are confronted with The Gay Rumor.

He said he’d eat pizza in an all-male shower.

Huh?

Howard Stern: “He seems to be in some bizarre thing where he wants to start in with me so that he can get some attention for his channel on the Foxxhole, which is an interesting name too. The hole. I wonder which hole they’re referring to? How many holes are in Jamie? He’s got an ass and a mouth. I don’t know what he does with them…I gotta sh*tload of stuff on Jamie which isn’t a lot of fun……My guess is we’re probably not on the same team. I think he’s playing for a way different team. I don’t know what team he’s on but it ain’t my team.”

Jamie Foxx: “I’m not gay…A lot of people say that I’m gay and that doesn’t bother me, because I could eat a pizza in a male shower and not feel anything because I’m secure with myself.”

What exactly, Jamie, do you think gay men do with pizza in the shower, because I didn’t get that page in my Gay Rulebook.

>Michael Patrick Carroll Is A Moron

>New Jersey Assemblyman Michael Patrick Carroll is one of the latest Repugnant Asshats to come out against gay marriage, but he offers a new spin on why he’s against equality:

“I see no purpose in extending a societal imprimatur–and not insubstantial benefits–to folks whose relationships are of essentially no societal consequence. Taxpayers should not be in the business of subsidizing friendships, however close….Only when people enter into a relationship which presumptively involves the bearing and rearing of children does society have an interest in that relationship.”

So…….we’re just friends, Carlos and I, and because we don’t have children society doesn’t care about us?

Well, Mike, you ridiculous excuse for a human being, you continue to work toward creating a society that is uninterested in people unless they’re heterosexual breeders. It’ll be an awfully lonely, boring, tasteless place, but then that’s probably what you’re hoping.

>Quote Of The Day

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Sometimes you read something and you think WHAT IN THE HELL IS HE ON???

Case in point, one Nicholas Sparks, who proudly asserts that he wrote the movie The Last Song especially for Disney-stripper Mylie Cyrus. Yes, he is proud of that fact, but he is more proud of his own immense talent, as witnessed by the enormous blowjob he gives himself in the following quote:

“There’s a difference between drama and melodrama; evoking genuine emotion, or manipulating emotion. It’s a very fine eye-of-the-needle to thread. And it’s very rare that it works.

That’s why I tend to dominate this particular genre.

There is this fine line. And I do not verge into melodrama. It’s all drama. I try to generate authentic emotional power. I write in a genre that was not defined by me. The examples were not set out by me. They were set out 2,000 years ago by Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripides. They were called the Greek tragedies. A thriller is supposed to thrill. A horror novel is supposed to scare you. A mystery is supposed to keep you turning the pages, guessing ‘whodunit?’ A romance novel is supposed to make you escape into a fantasy of romance. What is the purpose of what I do? These are love stories. They went from (Greek tragedies), to Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, then Jane Austen did it, put a new human twist on it. Hemingway did it with A Farewell to Arms. A Farewell to Arms, by Hemingway. Good stuff. That’s what I write. That’s what I write…There are no authors in my genre.

No one is doing what I do.”

Now, Nicky, see how easy it is to bend over and kiss your own ass.

>Calling Doctor Cassell, You’re In Need Of A Brain Transplant

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Doctor Asshat, who considers the national health-care overhaul to be bad medicine, has posted a sign on the door of his offices telling patients who voted for Barack Obama to seek care “elsewhere.”

“I’m not turning anybody away–that would be unethical,” says Dr. Asshat, er, Jack Cassell, who considers his political party affiliation more important than the practice of medicine. He goes on to say, “…if they read the sign and turn the other way, so be it.”

Now, I’m all for Free Speech, but Cassell, as a doctor, is walking a fine line. While doctors cannot refuse patients on the basis of race, gender, religion, sexual orientation or disability, apparently political preference is not protected. And Cassell insists he doesn’t quiz his patients on their political party affiliation, but has filled his waiting room with photocopies of a health-care timeline produced by Republican leaders. On top of his stack of GOP propaganda, he put yet another sign which reads: “This is what the morons in Washington have done to your health care. Take one, read it and vote out anyone who voted for it.”

Interestingly enough, and perhaps why Cassell has a stake in GOP-ism, his wife, attorney Leslie Cassell is a Republican candidate for Lake County commissioner. Cassell goes on, to protest too much, to say that just three patients have complained, while most have been “overwhelmingly supportive.” Cassell said a patients politics would not affect his care for them, although he said he would prefer not to treat people who support the president.

And he thinks I believe his medical care for an Obama-voting Democrat is the same as that which he gives GOP-goosesteppers?

I ain’t that sick, Doc.

>Vatican: The Pope Is Immune

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The scandal grows, and those in charge at the Vatican are circling the wagons.

Top Vatican legal experts, who must be working double-time these days, have said that Pope Benedict cannot be called to testify at any trial because he has immunity as a head of state. That man, Giuseppe dalla Torre, head of the Vatican’s tribunal, outlined the Vatican’s strategy to defend the pope from being forced to testify in several lawsuits concerning sexual abuse which are currently moving through the U.S. legal system, by saying that “[t]he pope is certainly a head of state, who has the same juridical status as all heads of state.”

Lawyers representing victims of sexual abuse by priests in several cases in the United States have said they want the pope to testify in an attempt to try to prove the Vatican was negligent. But the pope is protected by diplomatic immunity because more than 170 countries, including the United States, have diplomatic relations with the Vatican, recognizing it as a sovereign state and the pope as its sovereign head.

Dalla Torre also rejected the suggestion that U.S. bishops, some of whom are accused of moving molesters from parish to parish instead of turning them in to police, could be considered Vatican employees, making their “boss” ultimately responsible. He said: “[the] Church is not a multi-national corporation.”

I would beg to differ.

Dalla Torre also denied allegations by U.S. lawyers, and critics of the Church, that Vatican documents from 1962 and 2001 encouraged local bishops not to report sexual abuse cases. He re-stated the Vatican’s position that the documents, one of which called for procedures to remain secret, did not suggest to bishops that they should not report cases to authorities.

“Secrecy served above all to protect the victim and also the accused, who could turn out to be innocent, and it regarded only the canonical (church) trial and did not substitute the penal process. There is nothing that prohibited anyone (in the Church) from giving information to civil authorities.”

But then, please explain why this never happened in over forty years. If priests and clerics and bishops and cardinals could report these acts of violence against children to the authorities, why didn’t they?

Giuseppe dalla Torre gave his interview to Italy’s Corriere della Sera newspaper just as Pope Benedict began Holy Thursday services in St Peter’s Basilica and Catholics marked the most solemn week of the liturgical calendar, culminating on Sunday in Easter Day.The pope never once, in his sermon, referred to the scandal of pedophile.

He may be immune from testifying, but one would argue that, as the head of the Church, he would have a moral obligation to do anything and everything he could to protect these children and remove the pedophiles from the church.

His immunity is immoral.

>Dog Day Afternoon

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>Sunday Funnies

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