>This Is The Pits

>Y’all have no doubt heard about the woman who was walking and texting in a mall, and fell into a fountain, right?

Well, did you know she is suing the mall because no one came to her aid and, as she pulled herself from the water, no doubt still texting, the security guards were laughing at her. And that’s a lawsuit. And it’s apparently, in her mind, a payday.
I sometimes wonder how people can, with a straight face, file these frivolous lawsuits, and then it hits me.
We are given the right to do so by our elected officials.
Case in point: Dennis Kucinich.
Congressman Dennis Kucinich is suing a U.S. House of Representatives cafeteria for $150,000 because, he claims, they sold him a veggie wrap that contained an unpitted olive, and it caused him dental damage.
The lawsuit was filed January 3rd, 2011, although, for some unexplainable reason, that’s almost three years after the offending pit entered Kucinich’s mouth. He says that he purchased the dangerous wrap in the House cafeteria “on or about” April 17, 2008 and that it “contained dangerous substances, namely an olive pit, that a consumer would not reasonably expect to find in the final product served.”
Kucinich is suing for he dental work he had to endure as a result of the pit, as well as money for any future dental and medical expenses, for pain and suffering, and something called ‘loss of enjoyment’.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Biting into a sandwich and breaking a tooth, or teeth, on an olive pit is awful. And if it happened to me, I’d ask the company that made the sandwich to pay for my dental work. And, if they refused, I’d sue them, to pay for my dental work.
But Kucinich is going too far.
Loss of enjoyment? What’s that mean? Is he now suddenly fearful of olives? Can he no longer have foods stir-fried in olive oil? Will it be impossible for him to watch a Popeye cartoon ever again, in fear of Olive Oyl popping up on screen? Will he run from a party if a Kalamata Tapenade is served?
Seriously. We’re a nation of litigants who think anything and everything that happens to us, that hurts us or embarrasses us, is a lawsuit.
Grow up Texting Lady Of the Fountain.
And, you, too, Olive Eating Congressman.
Or, perhaps I’ll sue for having to read about you two fools.

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>Happy Anniversary Jack and George

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Jack Evans and George Harris met one anther at a friend’s Bon Voyage party on January 19th, 1961. And they just celebrated their Fiftieth Unwedding Anniversary. Fifty years without any recognition of their commitment, except from friends and family and loved ones. Fifty years of having to work harder than their heterosexual counterparts when it comes to running a business, owning a home, caring for one another.

And yet they did it; I wonder why?

Perhaps, and I know this notion is strange to many straight people, but, perhaps they love each other, and wanted to stay together, regardless of the hardships, and the discrimination, and all that extra legal paperwork to simply live as a couple in love.

George says, “We work together and live together, which creates its own challenges. Relationships are difficult because we’re all different people, but it’s what you want and what you want out of life. It takes commitment and you have to care.”

Commitment and struggle, and all that extra work.

Jack says that when they bought their first home, they couldn’t get a mortgage under both names: “The first two houses we bought had to be in my name alone because mortgage companies would not allow two people who were not married to borrow money to buy a house.” And George says he is working on a book about his ordeal with the military in the ’50s; he was kicked out for being gay.

Times have changed, but there is still struggle.

But George and Jack set the example; live your life….damn the torpedoes. They’re still here; they’re still queer. Get used to it.

Gay people aren’t going anywhere.

We’ll still be here, fighting for our rights, and struggling to be recognized, and demanding equality. Get used to it.

If Jack and George can do it, anybody can.

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>I Didn’t Say It, Michele Bachmann Did

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And here’s yet another birthday gift I received today: Michele Bachmann quotes!
Lordy, I loves me some stupid:

”(Gay marriage) is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”

”I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back.”

”Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”

“But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”

”Not all cultures are equal.”

”[Pelosi] is committed to her global warming fanaticism to the point where she has said she has even said she is trying to save the planet. We all know that someone did that 2,000 years ago.”

”A woman (Terri Schiavo) was healthy. There was brain damage, there was no question. But from a health point of view, she was not terminally ill.”

”I think there is a point where you say enough is enough to government intrusion. …Does the federal government really need to know our phone numbers?”

“Unelected bureaucracies will decide what we can and cant get in future health insurance policy. Thats why theyre called death panels.'”

”This cannot pass. What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass.”

”Unfortunately, the Census data has become very intricate, very personal, a lot of the questions that are asked. I know for my family, the only question we will be answering is how many people are in our home. We won’t be answering any information beyond that, because the Constitution doesn’t require any information beyond that.”

”And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”

“Michael Steele! You be da man! You be da man!”

”If we took away the minimum wage — if conceivably it was gone — we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.”

”Normalization (of gayness) through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders, is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.”

”I don’t know where they’re going to get all this money because we’re running out of rich people in this country.”

”This is an earthquake issue. This will change our state forever. Because the immediate consequence, if gay marriage goes through, is that K-12 little children will be forced to learn that homosexuality is normal, natural and perhaps they should try it.”

”I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter. I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”

“If we look at American history, between 1942 and 1947, the data that was collected by the Census Bureau was handed over to the FBI and other organizations at the request of President Roosevelt, and that’s how the Japanese were rounded up and put into the internment camps. I’m not saying that that’s what the Administration is planning to do, but I am saying that private personal information that was given to the Census Bureau in the 1940s was used against Americans to round them up, in a violation of their constitutional rights, and put the Japanese in internment camps.”

“Lady Liberty and Sarah Palin are lit by the same torch.”

“The big thing we are working on now is the global warming hoax. Its all voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax.”

“The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”

“I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I’m not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I’m not a scientist.”

source: BuzzFeed

>Give Me Joy!

>Today is my birthday, and, as Vera Charles said to Mame Dennis, “I am somewhere between forty……and death!”:
So, imagine my pleasure at finding this gift from Joy Behar. I love to laugh, and I love to poke idiots like Bachmann with a verbal stick, so this is the perfect gift!