>What A Way To Start The Day!

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I saw this first thing this morning over at Mistress Maddie’s place and just had to share it. Say what you will about the drama that is Amy Winehouse, the problems that plague her, the issues she has, but, damn, girl can sing.

>Still Crazy After All These Years

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There are times I just sit still and wonder.

How do planes fly?

Is there life after death?

If there is a god, what does she look like?

Lately, though, the question I’ve been pondering is this one:

How big are Dick Cheney’s feet?

I imagine they can’t be too large because he keeps putting them both in his mouth.

On Sunday, war criminal Dick Cheney made it clear that he would rather follow drug addict Rush Limbaugh into a political battle than he would Colin Powell. Yes, you heard right. Dick Cheney believes a radio blowhard is the future of the Repug Party.

Why oh why does Dick Cheney speak? He refused to answer questions about anything while he was Vice President and now he just can’t stop talking. And by talking, I mean digging a deeper hole into the oblivion that will be the Repug Party of future generations.

i think his, um, distaste for Powell is not based an actual knowledge or ideas of who may make a better figurehead for the Repugs, but on the fact that Powell endorsed Obama for President, and Powell clashed with Herr Cheney over the war in Iraq and over terrorism strategies.

Cheney, like any good Rabid Repug Dog with a boner for the Democrats, cannot forget his fights with Powell, so he passes on a military leader, a man who was a former Joint Chiefs chairman, in favor of a talk-radio host. Hell, why not say that Ryan Seacrest is the new leader of the Repugs. He’s on radio.

On Face The Nation this past Sunday, Cheney said this: “The suggestion our Democratic friends always make is somehow if you Republicans were just more like Democrats, you’d win elections. Well, I don’t buy that. We win elections when we have good solid conservative principles to run upon.”

No, Dick.

You won in 2000 because you cheated. Plain and simple.

You won in 2004 because you played the Fear Card. Plain and simple.

On the other hand, Colin Powell believes the Repugs need to be more centrist in their ideology, and reach out to growing black, Hispanic and Asian communities; he feels the party hasn’t changed at all in the light of the damaged economy, saying “Americans are looking for more government in their life, not less.”

And Colin Powell has no love for Limbaugh, either, saying. “I think what Rush does as an entertainer diminishes the party and intrudes or inserts into our public life a kind of nastiness that we would be better to do without.”

Rush? Nasty? Go figure.

Limbaugh then launches a racist attack, saying Powell is “just mad at me because I’m the one person in the country that had the guts to explain his endorsement of Obama. It was purely and solely based on race.” Because, and we all know this to be true, a Black man voting for a Black man is doing so solely because they are both Black. Of course, that doesn’t explain the white, the Hispanic voters, who chose Obama over McCain. Limbaugh has no explanation for that. Apparently.

But I digress. Let’s head back to Dick Cheney’s shoes….in his mouth:

He believes that transferring suspected terrorists from the military prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to the United States would be a bad idea because it would enlarge their legal rights.

Enlarge their legal rights? In his own words he calls them suspected terrorists then seeks to deny them any rights?

He keeps saying that the U.S. has become more vulnerable to a potential terrorist attack since the Obama administration renounced harsh interrogation tactics such as waterboarding, which simulates drowning, that Cheney said provided good intelligence.

I want someone to waterboard Cheney and see what information we get out of him.

He has renewed his call for the administration to release two CIA memos he said list successes derived from those interrogations, including “attack planning that was under way and how it was stopped.”

What Cheney fails to realize is that he has no power in Washington anymore. The puppet has gone home to Texas and now no one says How High? when Dickie says Jump.

He says he keeps speaking out, even though W stays silent, because “then the critics have free run, and there isn’t anybody there on the other side to tell the truth.”

Dick Cheney wouldn’t know the truth if he took it hunting and it accidentally shot him in the face.

>I. Love. Her.

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“I think Rush Limbaugh was the 10th hijacker but he was so strung out on OxyContin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh. ‘I hope the country fails.’ I hope his kidneys fail. How about that? He needs a good waterboarding. That’s what he needs.”

>Yeah….It’s Just Boys Being Boys

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In Florida a thirteen-year-old boy was sexually battered by four other students wielding broomsticks and hockey sticks.

Boys will be boys.

“We were investigating what seemed to be a less serious incident of bullying and discovered there was something much more serious,” said Steve Hegarty, spokesman for the Hillsborough County School District. “We were not aware of the kind of details that are coming out now when we started sitting down with the kids… that’s when law enforcement got involved.” Deputies arrested Randall John Moye, 14, Raymond A. Price-Murray, 14, Lee Louis Myers, 14, and Diamante J. Roberts, 15.

The bullying of the 13-year-old victim took place between March 15 and May 5; for almost two months a child had to endure this. Two months. School officials were investigating another incident that took place last Tuesday when they learned about the sexual assault that allegedly took place on April 30.

“Four male students were arrested yesterday for an incident involving another student,” Principal Kathleen Hoffman said in her recording, delivered on Thursday. “Currently, those students are not at Walker Middle School and will not return to Walker unless their legal issues are resolved. The details of the situation are confidential, but I want to assure our parents that we are doing all we can to make sure our students are safe.”

The stories are now coming out that many students already knew of the attacks before the school administrators. Many parents are rightfully angered that they should have been informed too.

“I’m definitely disappointed,” said parent Melinda Veloz. “They’ve sent out a bunch of papers for the swine flu and this is obviously a serious incident that affects every parent in this community.”

The school warned parents about flu, but not about the alleged rape of a child. Something is seriously wrong here. So, once again, for the few of you out there that still think bullying is just child splay, just kids being kids, listen to this: Rape is not bullying.

Rape.

>Quote Of The Day

>“Well, we go back to this concept of emancipation. The idea of ‘We will overcome’ from the great Dr. Martin Luther King, was made flesh as Obama was put into the office and yet at the same time another group of people were subjugated by some of those voters. A lot of people were saying, ‘Well you have to understand that a lot of the voters are Democratic and Christians, the ones that had an issue with rights for the gay community’. And I would say how, in any way, is that the Christian path?”

Tori Amos

>Sunday Movie Sunday

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We went to the movies yesterday.

Carlos has been working extra days for the past several weeks that we really have had much time off together, and between swollen ankles and rainy days, we’ve been housebound the rest. So we decided to take a Sunday afternoon and see the new Star Trek movie.

Carlos is a Trekkie, of sorts. He used to watch the old show on a tiny black-and-white TV as a young homo on Mexico. He loved Captain Kirk. Loved, if you, ahem, get my meaning.

As a young homo in California, I, too watched Star Trek, but I thought Captain Kirk, and by association, William Shatner, was a arrogant blowhard, looking for his inner Denny Crane.

But I love a good popcorn movie as much as I love popcorn, so off we went.

And, I must say, I liked the movie quite a lot. I think it had just enough of the old show to satisfy those that remember when, and enough new stuff to attract people who don’t know and don’t care about Star Trek….or as some folks still say, and I so want to smack them, Star Track.

But what did I like best about the movie?

Special effects? Oh, they were good all right.

The inspired casting? All the right actors played all the right part.

The story? Time travel and black holes are always good.

Leonard Nimoy back as Spock? yeah, it was nice to see him again.

No, those are all well and good, but after seeing the movie and talking about the movie with Carlos, I came to realise that this is why I liked the movie.

Two words: Chris Pine.

Two more words: Dee-lish.

>Come On In Y’all

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Let’s welcome Jim, newly arrived at I Should Be Laughing from his place, Jim’s Stuff.

Check it out.

>Asshat For All Time

>Pat Robertson, asshat for all seasons, recently said this:

“We haven’t taken this to its ultimate conclusion. You got polygamy out there. How can we rule that polygamy is illegal when you say that homosexual marriage is legal. What is it about polygamy that’s different? Well, polygamy was outlawed because it was considered immoral according to biblical standards. But if we take biblical standards away in homosexuality, what about the other? And what about bestiality and ultimately what about child molestation and pedophilia? How can we criminalize these things and at the same time have constitutional amendments allowing same-sex marriage among homosexuals. You mark my words, this is just the beginning in a long downward slide in relation to all the things that we consider to be abhorrent.”

He portrays himself as a man of God, but then he says the most hateful, unenlightened, bigoted things in the name of his god–little g.
This is a man of God? A man who says such things is no man of faith. He’s a tiny pathetic loser who would rather divide us as people than unite us; a man who would compare being gay to every single deviant behavior he can mention. If this is a man of God, then I want no part of It.

But I shouldn’t be surpised, he also said this:

“Lord, give us righteous judges who will not try to legislate and dominate this society. Take control, Lord! We ask for additional vacancies on the court.”

“Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It’s no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.”

Pat Robertson is so afraid of homo’s in TeaCups and TomorrowLand that he ranted to the entire city of Orlando about Disney’s Gay Day.

“I would warn Orlando that you’re right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don’t think I’d be waving those flags in God’s face if I were you, This is not a message of hate — this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It’ll bring about terrorist bombs; it’ll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor.”

Sidenote: Carlos and i were visiting DisneyWorld several years ago, and after the fireworks we were leaving the park, holding hands and laughing about the day. A lesbian couple, also holding hands, inched past us and smile. From behind, I heard someone shout, “What is this? Gay Day?” To which one of the lesbians replied, “Honey EVERY day is gay day.”

“(T)he feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

“I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that’s the way it is, period.”

After the city of Dover, Pennsylvania voted to boot the current school board which instituted an intelligent design policy:

“I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God, you just rejected him from your city. And don’t wonder why he hasn’t helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I’m not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that’s the case, don’t ask for his help because he might not be there.”

On why Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffered a massive stroke:

“God considers this land to be his. You read the Bible and he says ‘This is my land,’ and for any prime minister of Israel who decides he is going to carve it up and give it away, God says, ‘No, this is mine.’ … He was dividing God’s land. And I would say, ‘Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the E.U., the United Nations, or the United States of America.’ God says, ‘This land belongs to me. You better leave it alone.'”

And, last but certainly not least, advocating murder:

“You know, I don’t know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war … We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don’t need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It’s a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.”

Pat Robertson.

it is written: You are an Asshat For All Time.

>Cleveland Rocks…..Well, It’s Lite Rock But It’s A Start

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Just yesterday, for the first time ever, in Cleveland, unmarried couples–same-sex and “opposite”-sex–began signing up for the city’s new domestic partner registry.

Supporters plan a celebratory rally; detractors will kick off a National Day of Prayer.

Pfffft.

This isn’t a big deal, nor is it a little deal. it’s a mostly symbolic gesture: It does not guarantee any rights, though it may encourage employers and hospitals to give unmarried couples the same rights usually reserved for the married.



“It’s not about marriage,” said Councilman Joe Cimperman, who sponsored the registry. “It’s about recognizing relationships. And this is just the beginning. Come on, it’s 2009! This is the battle of human rights for our generation.”

This may not sound like much to y’all, but it is one of those, and here I go again, baby steps. I think allowing same-sex partners to register as domestic partners will show some opponents of marriage equality that it isn’t an affront to traditional marriage. It’s simply a commitment to share your life with the person you love and having it recognized.



A small step, but a step.

Cleveland.com has the full story.

>When You Hire Stupid, You Get Stupid

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Paris Hilton is being sued.

No, not for being a vacuous nobody with a penchant for fame-whoring and sex tapes.

No, not for her horrendous ability to turn music into screeching.

No, not because she couldn’t act her way out of a wet paper bag.

She’s being sued for NOT doing what she does best: Get publicity.

It seems some fools hired Paris “Empty-Headed”Hilton to be in a movie.

I know! First mistake!

But now they say Paris didn’t do enough to promote the movie and the production company, Worldwide Entertainment Group–is that any relation to ACME of Roadrunner fame–is seeking some $8.3 million in damages. But Paris is having none of it, saying, and I quote, “Any chance I got, any red carpet, any press, if I was doing something for another product … I would just bring it up.”

Yes, while talking about something else, she’d mention that she made a direct-to-DVD movie.

Good effort, asshat.

But here’s the kicker: Hilton’;s lawyer, one Micahel Weinstein, says, with a straight face, “She’s the single busiest person on the planet.”

Hilton had no comment.

Why?

She’s on vacation in the Caribbean.

Busy busy busy.